


I Need to Tell You Something

by AhumokIo, Pineau_noir



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Barely Legal Twink, Bisexual Peter Parker, Blow Jobs, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Consentacles, Crack, Embedded Images, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fanart, First Time, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Pansexual Wade Wilson, Spideypool Big Bang 2018, Tentacle Peter Parker, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, background stucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 04:19:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17676335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AhumokIo/pseuds/AhumokIo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineau_noir/pseuds/Pineau_noir
Summary: Coming to screens worldwide this February.When Peter Parker was 15 he was bitten by a spider on a school trip. The next day he woke up a little… changed. His whole world was turned upside down.Both figuratively and literally.As in, he was upside down, hanging off the bed, clinging to his now ruined bedposts. With his brand spankin-new tentacles.Eight of them to be exact. Yes, apparently in Peter's universe, the evil scientists at Oscorp spliced an octopus’ DNA with a spider. A spider who decided to snack on Peter.To try and have what passes for normal, he moved in with the Avengers. But almost five years of living with the Hulk, Captain America, and Iron Man are definitely not the norm for most people. Add in a flirty leather-clad mercenary, who keeps trying to feed him, and he knows his life has veered severely off-course. He thought he knew how to handle the strange things in his life, but he never expected Deadpool.Starring Peter Parker as Spider-Man and Wade Wilson as Deadpool, with music by Carly Rae Jepsen.





	1. I’m a Little Octoward

**Author's Note:**

> I could not have done this without the help of so many people! So thank you to [Az](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorestranged/pseuds/doctorestranged) for being the first to read it and assuring me it wasn't crap, my Stucky friends [Coldwinterrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldwinterrose/pseuds/coldwinterrose), [Sable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecroixss), and [Mortenavida](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortenavida) who listened to me flail about even though Spideypool isn't their fandom, with a special thanks to Coldwinterrose for the beta read, and a big thank you to the Spideypool Big Bang mods for running this! It was great!
> 
> My biggest thank you goes to [AhumokIo](http://1impulsivefloweruniverse.tumblr.com) for all the help with the actual fic, your friendship, and for making such sweet and gorgeous art for my silly story. It's been amazing collaborating with you. ❤❤❤

**“Let’s start the story several years ago. Back when Peter Parker was just an adorably nerdy teen.**

**“Can you cue the flashback music?”**

[Doo doo doo doo doo](https://youtu.be/9WQJg5fP0U8)

Peter was really excited to go on the field trip to Oscorp Laboratories. He had always been a science geek, something that the bullies of Midtown High liked to make fun of him for, but he wasn’t ashamed. There was nothing more exciting than figuring out how the world worked through experimentation and research. He loved the fact that in science, things were constantly changing, constantly in motion, nothing was static. He yearned for adventure, his life had been sorely lacking and he hoped he could find something that inspired him.

But instead, life was just boring. He got up, went to school, came home, did homework, hung out with his Aunt May and Uncle Ben, went to bed, then rinse and repeat for the rest of the school week. He did have a few friends; Ned and MJ were great. On the weekends sometimes he and Ned would get together and build elaborate Lego sets or MJ would come over and they would gorge themselves on pizza and play games on Peter’s decade old Wii. 

So yes, he was excited to be going to one of the most cutting edge laboratories in the world. He would have preferred to have gone to Tony Stark’s lab, as his main interest was robotics, not genetics, but Peter wasn't going to complain about the trip. He wandered away from the group and somehow ended up in a lab with a bunch of really neat spiders. He hadn’t really ever thought much about spiders before, but there were so many different kinds in this one lab, of all different sizes and colors. There were some tiny ones that could barely be seen, even with his glasses, some that had a big red spot on the back, and then there was one that really caught Peter’s eye. It was bigger than the rest and its legs were a blueish purple. He leaned in closer to read about that particular strain and bumped into the tank.

**“Deadpool again. Can you see where this is going? Yeah, me too. But you might be surprised! I’ll let you get back to Petey-pie.”**

After Peter had explored and read his fill on the different kinds of spiders, he felt a sharp pain at the back of his neck. Slapping at the stinging sensation, he looked down at his hand, only to see it was clean. He shook his head in confusion and went out to find his school group.

The next morning he awoke and everything was bright, loud, and... upside down? He shook his head and things were _still_ upside down. He tried to roll over in his bed and was stopped by a couple of soft appendages. He shifted his body to and fro, only to realize the extra appendages were in fact connected to his torso. He focused all of his attention and was able to move them only to realize he was suspended by the appendages with his head on the floor, the rest of his body tilted towards the ceiling.

“Shit! Shit! What....” he started.

Hearing the noise, Aunt May and Uncle Ben ran into his room.

“Peter, _oh my god_ Peter! What’s wrong with you,” Aunt May gasped.

Uncle Ben just stood in the doorway with a look of horror on his face.

Peter surveyed the mess he had made: his bed was destroyed, his sleep pants in shreds around him. He went to stand up, only to realize that his legs were gone and in their place were the extra appendages he’d noticed before. He concentrated for a moment and was able to discern eight individual limbs. He looked down ( _up?_ he wondered) and saw that they were actually a calming shade of purple with mottled pink and blue areas. They were all covered with various sized suckers. He concentrated again and each limb gently waved as he thought about each of them. 

**“Ha! Told you it wasn’t going to be standard Earth-616 origin story. Apparently the evil scientists in our world decided to splice the DNA from a spider with an octopus for science? I guess they liked the symmetry of an octopod and an arachnid because dudes had a hard on for the number eight. I mean, who the fuck knows, a bad guy did this, they’re not really known for their impeccable logic.**

**“Yep! So Peter’s basically half awkward dude on top and half tentacle monster on the bottom. Not that I’m complaining! And, don’t worry, I don’t come into the story until he’s of age.”**

“Aunt— Aunt May, Uncle Ben,” Peter gasped. “I don’t feel so good.”

  


**”Let me just stop you right there. There will be no hashtag spoiler for Infinity War. Let’s move this along.”**

“Peter!” Aunt May shouted. “You’ve got—”

Peter looked at her miserably. “I know! I’m a monster.” He sniffled as tears started to run down his face which, in his current position, meant they ran up his forehead into his hair.

Uncle Ben held out his arms and motioned to Peter. “Can I— can you reach me? Can I give you a hug?”

Peter scrubbed his arm across his face and let out a wail. “I don’t know how to make these things move,” he sobbed.

Uncle Ben gingerly made his way over to Peter, stepping over debris from the broken bed and stringently avoiding Peter’s new _limbs_. He helped Peter get upright and settled back into the bed, watching out for broken pieces of wood. He wrapped the boy in his arms, murmuring, “There, there, Peter. We’ll figure something out. We’ll help. We’ll take care of you.”

**”And they did! Well, I mean it took a couple of months and some _odd_ explanations to some specialists and a zoologist (?), and a couple of suuuuuper high marine biologists. Finally they found somebody who knew the right strings to pull to get Peter an in with the Avengers. **

**“Now, you may be thinking ‘Why not the X-Men, DP?’ And that’s a perfectly good question. And the answer is that the author has _very_ mixed feeling about the X-Men franchise and hasn’t read a ton of their comics. But she _has_ read a ton of Avengers comics and owns all the movies. So it comes down to writing what you know.**

**“But anyway Peter had an in with the Avengers. He was calling Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and Bruce Banner his honorary uncles. It was like _Three Men and a Baby_ if the baby had octopus tentacles and Steve Guttenberg turned into the Hulk.”**

On a random Tuesday Peter was musing about the abrupt way his life had veered off course. It had been five years since his transformation, and four and a half since he had moved to Avengers Tower, and while he wasn’t _happy_ , he wasn’t unhappy. His life had settled into its new normal. He looked around at his room and sighed. Or well, was it his tank? Terrarium? He shook his head and a stray tentacle came up to gently pat his arm. He called that one _George_. He had started naming them as each one started to display a distinct personality. George was like a kindly old gent who comforted Peter when he was feeling sad and took on a more parental role. _Stanley_ was a bit of a curmudgeon and didn’t like when Peter initiated contact. He was fine acting like a scarf when it was _his_ idea, but if Peter tried to touch Stanley, he would slap at him. And the tentacles were quite strong.

 _Karen_ was the most helpful, always letting him know if he was going to fall over, or run into something. With her help, Peter felt like he had a precognition of danger, like he had a special tentacle sense. _Janet_ was very affectionate and Peter liked her the best. She was always wrapped around his waist, a comforting weight in his otherwise his weird life.

The other four tentacles didn’t have a name. Well, two of them were his _special time_ appendages and they tended to stay tucked in close to his body. They _could_ move and hold his weight, being the same length and strength as the other six, but it was uncomfortable; like being shocked in his most sensitive area. The last two just kind of waved about and gave him support when he needed it. They were more like draft horses, or oxen, working to keep him upright and functional. They played the biggest role in helping him appear “normal”.

He trained with Steve to learn how to deal with the changes. Tony had suggested the training because, of course, Steve knew what it was like to suddenly have a completely new body. Peter had learned how to walk and interact with people from Tony. Tony built an exoskeleton for Peter’s tentacles to wrap around to try and help them to move like a biped. After a couple of years, the tentacles had the muscle memory to move like legs on their own. Bruce had taught him how to look past the moments of complete panic when he looked at himself and didn’t recognize his body. Pepper, in her infinite wisdom, had found a tutor so Peter could keep up with his studies and finish high school. Though he had initially tried to stay close with Ned and MJ, he still felt self conscious outside the tower so they had faded to “occasionally texting” friends. He missed them but wasn’t comfortable telling them about his mutation.

He had finally gotten to the point where he could _almost_ go out in public and walk upright. Hiding the tentacles under clothing was still a little difficult but Tony was working on some cloaking material that would change the purple skin of the tentacles into his normal pale color. But what he really liked to do, was to put on his special spandex suit, swing around the city, and help people. Because in addition to the extra limbs, he had developed the ability to shoot spider webs out of his wrists. He loved the rush of thwipping out a web and swinging to the precipice then letting go and having a brief nanosecond of free fall before he shot out another web to catch himself. Peter would admit to himself that he was _maybe_ a bit of an adrenaline junkie.

**”Yeah, the author _really_ likes when stories have Peter with his own, like, part of his physical body web shooters instead of engineered spinnerets. So you know, keep an eye out for how that might play out.**

**“You can’t see it, but I totally just waggled my eyebrows and winked.”**

When he wore his Spider-Man suit (because he had gotten bitten by a spider, dammit. He was _not_ going to be “Octopus-Man”) Karen and Janet would wrap around his arms, lending him their strength while George and Stanley would arrange themselves around his middle and the two other tentacles. He felt a _little_ self-conscious because they would stick out a bit in the back. But his “special time” tentacles needed room. He learned that the hard way, one extremely fun, but incredibly embarrassing trip. Steve had given him _the talk_ about the appropriate times for such things and maturing bodies, and how consent is sexy, and not to be ashamed, but also to keep it to his room or the bathroom. Peter’s face still got hot thinking about it.

Peter looked sadly at his room.The days of being able to live with his aunt and uncle had long passed. The second set of bedroom furniture that had been destroyed had proven that. And they had learned after a week that if his tentacles didn’t have access to salt water, they would dry out and crack, causing him excruciating pain. Peter shuddered just thinking about it. He was _so_ thankful to Tony and Bruce for designing his room, but looking at it, he felt like such a freak.

Gone was the traditional furniture, beds, dressers, hell _chairs_ , were too easily broken when he’d lost control in the beginning. In their place were large pillows, soft ottoman cubes that had storage in them, blankets and most unlike his old room, a large salt water pool. Bruce had suggested, early on, that they try soft things and Peter’s new body seemed to take to that better than furniture with hard surfaces. He now had the fine control to coexist with regular furniture but he had grown to love the softer things. Not having legs and a traditional spinal cord meant that sleeping on a mattress was not that comfortable. 

The other Avengers dropped by here and there, and he could count several of them (Clint, Wanda, Sam, and Thor) as friends. Natasha was an unknown quantity, being too canny for Peter to read. Bucky was quiet but friendly. He rarely was around the other Avengers as a group, preferring to keep to his and Steve’s room when things got too rowdy. But they’d had several short chats about not feeling like he was an abomination, just because he looked and acted differently.

He didn’t want the spotlight that the A-Team got, so he stuck to the Boroughs and paid close attention to Queens. Aunt May and Uncle Ben still lived there and if it was a slow night, he would swing over and have dinner or dessert with them. Peter had been making quite a name for himself as the “Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” when he first saw the mercenary known as Deadpool.

**”Yeesh, it took...checks word count, a little over _2000_ words for me to actually enter the story. Holy exposition, Batman. **

**“Anyway, yeah, it’s me, ya boi, the one and only Merc with a mouth, the sexiest motherfucker y’all have ever seen. Ya know, if by sexy you mean horribly disfigured, skin looking like a wilted bouquet of peach colored tulips, and lacking the barest notion of social norms. But let's not bring the mood down with my insecurities. Moving on.**

**“I’m here and I’m queer. Yeah, it’s canon that I’m pansexual. Honestly Orkasa was probably way out of my league but she just had the most beautiful four eyes and I couldn’t resist. So probably not gonna have an issue with tentacles. Seriously though, Imma let you get back to the story instead of listing my top ten fantasies about multiple appendages. I know you think my daydreams can’t get any weirder, but to quote Spider-Ham ‘it _can_ get weirder!’”**

“Spidey! Spidey! Is that you?” the man dressed in red and black leather screeched. Then he jumped up and down and did a little twirl. “I’ve been hoping to run into you!”

Peter landed gently on a rooftop. It had been a typical Tuesday: the day spent deep in research with Tony and Bruce, and the night spent swinging around, preventing crime. He narrowed his eyes as he looked at the other man. 

“Who are you?” he asked, skepticism clear in his voice.

“I’m Deadpool! You may know me by my less exciting name: Wade Wilson. Duh. I’m the narrator? Of this fic?” he said as he gestured to the wall.

“Uh, yeah. Ok. So, um, do you need help with anything? Were you robbed?”

At that, Deadpool burst into laughter. Peter felt Janet twitch when she noticed his discomfort. George gently hugged his middle as Peter watched Deadpool laugh until he fell over and started rolling on the ground. _Finally_ Deadpool quit laughing and made an exaggerated motion, seeming to wipe tears from his eyes.

“Oh, you really are a kid, baby boy. If there’s any stealing going on, it’s me doing the stealing and someone else needing the help.” 

“I feel like I should let you know that I fight crime?” Peter responded.

Deadpool jumped up and walked towards Peter. ”No, no, I’m on the straight and narrow now. I have ‘seen the light’, I have ‘come to Jesus’, I have done all of those vaguely religious phrases that means I’m not a criminal anymore. I’m more of an anti-hero,” he explained. 

“That’s— that’s, honestly... not filling me with relief,” Peter admitted. “Anti-hero means the opposite of a hero?”

“But it’s not a direct replacement for villian,” Deadpool countered.

“Semantics aside, if you’re here to steal or harm anyone, then I’m afraid I’m going to have to stop you,” Peter said as he straightened his shoulders.

Deadpool let out a whistle. He started to hum. Suddenly he sang _“Hot night, wind was blowin’. Where you think you’re going baby? Hey I just met you and this is crazy. But here’s my number,[so call me maybe?](https://youtu.be/fWNaR-rxAic)”_ Then his mask winked. Which… Peter wasn’t sure how that worked.

Peter blushed. He wasn’t sure how to take that. He’d had crushes, of course, but since being turned into, whatever _this_ was, his crushes had definitely been one sided. It was a little hard to feel attractive when his lower half was just a bunch of wavey limbs; complete with suckers.

“What— whatever. I’m going to keep my eye on you,” Peter warned.

“Spidey, you can keep whatever of you on me, for as long as you like.”

Peter gwaffed out a laugh and then to his horror, a snort.

“Oh! Spidey! I made you snort! That was so adorably unattractive! I love it! Never do it again!”

Peter cocked his head to the side. “Umm, ok. So yeah. I know the Avengers. Behave Deadpool.”

**”But behave, I did not.**

**“Just kidding! I just wanted to do the whole Arrested Development narration. Sadly I’m no Ron Howard. But, like Ron Howard, I am prematurely bald.**

**“ANYway. Peter swung off into the night. Swung. Swang? He shot webs from somewhere in the general vicinity of his wrists and took off. Taking my heart with him. It was a couple of weeks before we saw each other again.”**

Peter didn’t think much of meeting Deadpool. His life was already so weird that meeting the red-clad mercenary didn’t register very high on his “strangeness scale”. Unlike meeting Dr. Strange, which registered medium-high due to the portals that he was creating.

“Um, Dr. Strange, are those _things_ supposed to be coming out of your portal?” he squeaked. It was exactly one week after his rooftop meeting and Tony had sounded the “Assemble” and asked Peter to tag along. So far, Peter was throughly unimpressed.

“Yes, Peter. They are what we are after,” the sorcerer answered.

Peter squinted. The things were reddish orange blobs with teeth. Peter couldn’t figure out why it was OK that they were spilling into _his_ universe via the portals, instead of going out of the portals back into _their_ universe..

Steve’s voice piped in through Peter’s earpiece; he was coordinating everything from off-site. The team all had little body cams so Steve could see what was going on and give direction when needed. “I know this is weird, Peter, but these things hold the cure for the common cold.”

Peter felt like that old meme from that old show, Futurama. He squinted and couldn’t decide if Steve was telling the truth or trying to mess with him.

“Sure, OK. And _why_ did you need my help?”

“Because, Peter, we think your webbing can contain them,” Tony piped in.

Peter was starting to get a little distracted and a lot confused by the earpieces. It made him realize how much he loved to patrol alone. But Peter did as they asked and webbed up the seven blobs that came through the portal. He watched with mild fascination as Tony and Dr. Strange used half physical-half magical cages to contain the blobs. 

At one point, Peter was webbing them up and saw that one had noticed him in the corner. He had a momentary freak-out and leapt up to the ceiling. He didn’t _think_ they could actually harm him but Peter wasn’t taking any chances with the big Pennywise teeth. He was thankful everyday that Tony had designed his suit so well. The billionaire had figured out a way to use nanotechnology to create a suit that was so advanced, the suckers on his tentacles wrapped around his arms and his “leg” tentacles, didn’t lose their ability to stick. Because of that, Peter was literally able to leap out of danger’s way.

“Um, do you still need my help? Because he looked like he wanted to eat me,” he said after he scuttled across the ceiling to the other side of the room.

“Yeah, no, I think we’re good, Peter, Thanks so much for your help.” Steve responded. With official clearance to leave, Peter wasted no time in moving to the side of the large room where the door was. 

“It’s Taco Tuesday, don’t forget,” Tony chimed in.

Dr. Strange perked up at that. “Tacos? I love tacos.”

Peter rolled his eyes as he dipped down through the door jam and hurried to the top floor. He took a couple of deep breaths before he jumped off the roof and started swinging through the city. This was Peter’s favorite thing to do, it made him feel free. He didn’t feel like a freak when he was in his Spider-Man uniform. He felt almost normal. Stanley gave him an extra hard pinch, making him gasp.

“Dammit, Stanley, I’m allowed to feel things,” he muttered.

Janet and Karen rubbed his arms while George rubbed the sore spot Stanley had made. Mood slightly dampened, he made his way to his favorite rooftop. He landed and made himself comfortable, listening for anybody that needed his help.


	2. What’s Kraken?

**“While Peter was meeting new and exciting things and webbing them up, I was living my best life. Meaning, eating a bunch of deep fried Mexican food, watching NSFW movies and having my own “special” time. Honestly it was pretty great.**

**“Ya know, _if_ you ignore the large swathes of self-hatred sprinkled in. But I was taking jobs, making money, possibly universe hopping. Peter thought of me, maybe? I don’t know. I can’t read minds. I know a guy, but he’s not in this story.”**

Peter didn’t think of Deadpool in the weeks that followed their first meeting.

**”Rude.”**

Three weeks had passed when Peter landed on his favorite rooftop and heard a familiar voice. 

“Spidey! You came back! I knew you missed me! I’m going to call our team-up ‘A Bromance for the Ages,’ which nicely ties in our comic books and gives it a bit of a Harlequin feel.”

Peter pinched the bridge of his nose. “Deadpool,” he groaned.

Deadpool just smiled (how was that possible through the mask?) and started walking towards Peter. Peter rolled his eyes. Hard. He had asked Tony, well, JARVIS, about the mercenary and gotten mixed results. On one hand, he really had seemed to be reformed and didn’t take anymore jobs where he had to kill people. On the other― he still took money for doing crime. So while Peter didn’t trust him, at least he wasn’t an assassin.

“What do you want?” he threw out.

“Just to see your smiling face and that beautiful booty of yours, Spidey! Ya know, the usual.”

Peter shook his head. He was glad that his lower body appeared to be normal, but felt heat color his cheeks when Deadpool complimented his “booty”. 

“I’ve― I’ve got to go―” he started.

“Why so soon, baby boy?” Deadpool interrupted. “You’re not a baby, right? I’m reading this correctly?”

Peter, once again, rolled his eyes. “I’m 20,” he said with a groan.

“Ooh! A barely legal twink! The author should make sure to tag this accordingly.”

Peter just glared at Deadpool. “Look, I’ve got things to do, OK? I need to finish up my patrol and then go home. I gotta do stuff with…” he trailed off. He couldn’t let Deadpool know who he worked with. It would be all too easy to trace the mutate that Tony Stark and Bruce Banner worked with to Spider-Man. “I need to go. I’m busy,” he stated with finality in his voice.

“Sure thing, Spidey. But next time, we’re going out for food.”

“Whatever Deadpool.”

He shot his webs and swung off into the night. He wasn’t exactly sure _why_ Deadpool was so interested in him, but he vowed to do everything in his power to dissuade the mercenary. He let the cool, rushing air clear his head and allowed his mind wander. He whooped and laughed as Janet and Karen gave him extra strength to perform acrobatics and catch himself at the _very_ last minute. Stanley, who was not a fan of fun things, reached over to tweak Peter’s ear.

“Dammit, Stanley.”

Peter arrived at the Tower, feeling happier than he had felt in a while. The fresh air and, he could admit it to himself, interaction with Deadpool had lifted his spirits. The Avengers were awesome, of course, but anyone who was not used to Peter’s lower half usually gaped and stared. Peter wasn’t used to strangers treating him as “normal”.

**”Yeah, my Petey-pie has some hang-ups about his sexy lower half. As we have established, I’m A-OK with it, cause Deadpool don’t judge.**

**“It would be pretty hypocritical of me to judge someone based on how their mutation changed them, wouldn’t it? But y’all aren’t here to hear me wax poetic about Peter’s self-esteem. Let’s face it, if you’re here, it’s because the end-game is tentacle sex with Peter’s two dicks. I mean, honestly, that’s half of why _I’m_ here.**

**“Let’s let the author be lazy because it’s late and she wants to go to bed. Story, flash forward to my next encounter with Peter.”**

The next time Peter saw Wade, there _was_ food involved.

“Yoohoo! Spidey! I’ve got a huge meatball sub with your name on it!” he shouted.

Peter, who was unaware Deadpool was on the rooftop, slipped a little. Stanley went with the fall, while George, ever the more helpful of the two, tried to keep him upright. The two “leg” tentacles were confused and one went left while the other went right. This all resulted in Peter’s suit bulging and writhing in all different directions.

“Baby boy!” gasped Deadpool. “What— what the actual fuck is going on with your body?”

“Nothing. I’ve got to go!” Peter squeaked out, face burning with shame, as he webbed his way away from Deadpool. 

He _couldn’t_ believe he lost control of his tentacles like that. And in front of Deadpool of all people! Others might be polite enough to let the matter drop but Deadpool would worry at the matter until Peter had to come clean about his mutation. 

Peter arrived at the Tower, almost in tears. He flung his mask off and gave into the emotions, sobbing on the couch in the common room. Thankfully, only Bruce was around.

“Hey— hey Pete,” he said quietly. “What’s wrong?”

“No— nothing! Just, I’m a freak and _everyone_ knows it and now _Deadpool_ knows it! And why can’t I have a normal life? I’ve been like this for five years and I’m so sick and tired of it! I don’t understand why it had to happen to me.” He gulped in a few deep breaths. “I know I’m being overly dramatic but I’ve got FUCKING TENTACLES INSTEAD OF LEGS!”

Bruce took a step back, his neck starting to tint the lightest shade of green. “Hey, Pete, I understand you’re upset but um— “

“Shit. I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Can’t even freak out right.” Peter sighed as he worked to calm himself and not bring out Bruce’s louder, green half.

Once Bruce could see the emotional outburst was over, the shouty portion of it anyway, he gently settled down next to Peter on the couch. He reached out and gave Peter what was surely supposed to be a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“If there’s anybody here who understand this, it’s me,” he said quietly. “And I _chose_ my mutation. It doesn’t get any easier but you do eventually learn to manage your disappointment. The mourning for ‘what might have been’ never goes away but it doesn’t consume your thoughts as much.

“Or at least, that’s what my experience has been.”

Peter sat in silence. He knew what Bruce said was true. It didn’t make it any easier. He scrubbed the tears from his face and looked at Bruce. 

“Thanks. That— that’s a lot of good things for me to hear. I’m not OK, but I probably will be sooner rather than later.” 

Bruce smiled, a small smile, tinged with regret. “You’re a good kid, Peter. You’ve been dealt a shitty hand and I wish I could do something to help but Tony and I exhausted our options when you first came to live with us. I’m so sorry I can’t do more.”

“Please don’t feel bad,” Peter answered, a waver in his voice. “You’ve all done so much for me. I’m so grateful and I don’t want you to feel bad!”

Bruce patted him on the shoulder again. “Things will work out. And this may be one instance in which Deadpool doesn't react as expected. Remember, his mutation occured when he was an adult and it had very noticeable effects. So he may be more understanding that you think.”

Peter shook his head and motioned to the door. “I think, I’m probably going to go mope in my room. Thanks.”

Bruce smiled again. “Anytime.”

**”So Peter and the Hulk had a nice heart to heart about me. What a rush! I didn’t even know I was on Banner’s radar, the funny science bro with his seven PhD’s and green rage monster. He seems like a real cool guy. The Hulk, I mean. Everybody knows Banner is a stone cold fox, what with his salt-and-pepper hair and that way he looks at you like you’re the only person in the room.**

**”Ahem! Anyway.”**

Peter was feeling itchy and brittle in his skin so he went to his room and stripped down so he could swim in his pool. Janet, George, and Karen all swarmed Peter and gave him what he imagined was a hug. Stanley, whose only time not being a grump was in the pool, writhed and jumped in the water. The two limbs swayed gently and Peter’s dicks stayed as close to his middle, not being fond of the cold temperatures. 

Peter leaned back and let the four named tentacles keep his head out of the water so he could relax and unwind. He felt a little ashamed about breaking down in front of Bruce, but the scientist was right; he _did_ understand what it was like to have your life completely changed over night. He also understood being afraid of the change. Peter grabbed George and used him as a pillow and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Peter decided he would face his fears and tell Deadpool about his mutation. 

\-----

“I’m sorry, you want me to invite _who_ to my tower?” Tony’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. “An unhinged mercenary who is as likely to kill us all as bring us cookies and tea?”

“He’s not so bad,” Bucky drawled out. It must have been an OK day for the former brainwashed assassin. He had been in the common room all morning. He hadn’t left Steve’s side, but he was still out in the open. “He’s a little...not there all the time. But I haven’t heard of a confirmed kill from him in close to a year.”

“Oh, so his ‘confirmed kill list’ isn’t growing?!? That’s supposed to make me feel better?” Tony spat back.

Steve glared at Tony. “I’ve been around him a couple of times Tony. He’s more helpful than not. And Buck’s always been a good judge of character. Plus would you rather invite him here, where we will all be, where JARVIS can monitor the entire interaction, or have this play out on a random rooftop?” 

At Peter’s look, Steve raised his hands in a placating manner. “I know you can take care of yourself. Hell, I helped train you. But Peter, he carries two katanas and who knows how many guns on his person. Even you can’t outrun a bullet.”

Tony let out a derisive snort and threw his hands up in the air. “FINE! Fine. I’ll have engraved invitations made up. Let’s all just invite a mentally unstable killer to my home.”

**”I feel like I should be offended. At no point did I receive an engraved invitation to Avengers Tower. I got a smack on the back of the head from Iron Man with a ‘Spider-Man wants to talk to you. Don’t understand why. Steve says you should come by next week’. And then he fucked off.**

**“But I love Spidey so I did as he asked and put on my best suit and presented myself to the AI in the sky like I was a gentleman courting his lady love. And, let’s be honesty, I was totally trying to court Peter. He just didn’t know it.”**

“Should I keep my mask on?” Peter asked Tony when he got back from inviting the anti-hero to the Tower.

“Kid, this is so far past my threshold for comfort. Ask somebody else.”

He asked Steve the same question a few moments later as he walked into the room.

Steve sighed. “Honestly Peter, I don’t know. That’s a decision you’re going to have to make on your own.”

Peter groaned. “You and Tony are supposed to be mentoring me! You’re supposed to _tell me what to do_ ,” he whined. “I don’t wanna decide. Adulting is _hard_.”

Steve gave him his patented “Captain America is disappointed in you” stare. “Peter—”

“I know, I know. I’m an adult. I have to decide for myself,” he grumbled.

“Exactly. We’re not here to make all of your decisions.” His expression gentled. “But you should know that the question is no longer an issue because Deadpool is—”

“Right behind you, baby boy!”

Peter let out a big sigh and cradled his head in his hands. “Fuck,” he muttered.

“Did you— _can_ you drop the f-bomb in front of Captain America?” Deadpool whispered.

“Deadpool, I’ve heard so much worse from you,” Steve said as he glared at the red-clad man.

Peter threw up his hands and scuttled away muttering “I didn’t think he would come _today_ , fucking Parker luck, what is my life. RIP me.”

Steve and Deadpool watched him leave.

“Gotta say, Cap, I _was not_ expecting that,” Deadpool admitted.

“Yeah, he’s been handed a bad hand, Wade. I thought you, of all people, would understand.” 

“Oh yeah, no judgement. I just didn’t expect so many extra limbs. Like that was _a lot_ of extra…. What exactly do you call them?”

Steve sighed. “Why don’t you ask Peter. He invited you here to talk about—” he waved his hand in the direction Peter had gone “—well, about everything. I can have JARVIS lead you to his living space. If he says he doesn’t want you there—”

“Oh yeah, I’ll leave, don’t worry about it. Consent is hella sexy. Especially when there are tentacles involved. They should come up with some term for that.”

**”But of course you all know that ‘consentacles’ is totally a thing because we’re very into the idea of breaking the fourth wall. Plus hopefully you read the tags. So I went to Peter’s living space like Cap suggested.”**

Peter was having a pity-party on one of the soft beanbags when and let out a sigh when he heard a timid knock. “What,” he asked, exasperated.

“Peter, it’s me Wade. Wade Wilson, but you probably know me as Deadpool?” came the reply.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Wade—” he groaned "—you literally told me your name the first time we met.”

“Oh yeah! Cool! So I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I accidentally saw your face and lower appendages.”

Peter sighed again. “It’s...well, it’s not _fine_ but I’m not mad.” He heard Wade’s head thunk against the door.

“Great! Hey, did you know that I’m pretty gnarly under my leather suit? Like, whatever insecurities you may have, I’ll bet you the farm that mine are worse. And before you start— I know it’s not a competition. But baby boy, you’re not the only one who feels weird in their body.”

Peter slumped down further into the beanbag. He took a moment and then rolled over. “You can come in, you know.” He heard a scuffle behind the door.

“I mean, I don’t _need_ an invitation to enter somewhere, I’m not Dracula (that guy’s a douche bee-tee-dubs), but like, I’m not a dick either so I wanted to wait for permission. Had a big talk about that with your American-Themed-Dad just a few minutes ago.”

Peter watched as the door slowly opened Deadpool walked in, his head hanging, his line of sight at the floor. “Wade, you don’t— you don’t have to—” he started.

Wade grunted. “Don’t wanna get your dads mad at me. Tony I can probably take, but I’ve got too much respect for Cap’s body to harm him, and quite frankly I’m a little scared of the Hulk. I feel like he could rip me into pieces and scatter me across the world. Which then would bring up the question of whether I would grow into like six or seven Deadpools or if I would just be in pieces around the world. And as much as I love to hate myself, six of me is really pushing things.”

Peter had to bite back a smile. He saw Deadpool lift up his head a little.

“Ha! That’s better.” Wade looked around Peter’s room, taking in all the soft furniture and the pool. “This is pretty great, Spidey-babe,” he said.

“Pet—” he had to clear his throat. “Peter. My name is Peter.” 

Wade walked up to him and held out his hand. “Good to meet you Peter.”

Peter was a little taken aback at the formality from Deadpool. He had, honestly, expected everything to be treated like a joke. He cleared his throat again and moved so they could shake hands. Wade’s hand was warm beneath the leather.

“Um, have a seat? I’m sorry I don’t have any real chairs or anything, I used to have problems controlling all the extra limbs and other stuff got broken pretty quickly. Sorry…” he trailed off.

Deadpool stared at him. “Peter—” he said in a very subdued tone "—I told you about the gross skin but I’ll be real; I’m covered in sores and scars. My body hurts on the reg. And what really causes me pain is sitting on hard surfaces. So this _probably_ won’t be a big deal for me.“ He looked around the room and chose a beanbag that wasn’t the closest one to Peter but was still in the general vicinity of where he was sprawled out. Peter huffed out a breath. This was not the way he had expected this meeting to go.

He knew Wade was loud and crude and had expected some of his signature rude humor so he was a little taken aback at the sensitivity and tact he was showing. Wade leaned back and waited patiently for Peter to gather his thoughts.

“I’m here to listen to whatever you want to tell me Petey.”

Peter thought a minute. He started out tentatively. “When I was 15 I went on a field trip with my science class to Oscorp labs.”

**”And we’ve been through all of this already so we don’t have to recap. Also I totally wasn’t lying. Furniture hurts my skin a lot but being semi-suspended in a cloth blob, filled with little pellets, doesn’t bother me as much. Peter and I were on our way to maybe not being bosom buddies, heh Tom Hanks, but we were at least on our way to being friendly.”**

\-----

The weeks following Peter’s big reveal settled into the start of a routine. Peter still patrolled the city and Wade would occasionally tag along. After they finished for the night, one or both of them would inevitably be hungry so they started adding food to the routine.Then Wade starting showing up more often. 

Peter, confused and not sure why the mercenary was spending so much time with him, and feeding him, decided to confront Wade about it. 

“Look, when we first met, you said you weren’t a hero. So like—” he spread his arms out in the universal “what gives” motion “— what are you getting out of this? It can’t be the free food because I have very much noticed that you buy our midnight food more than me. Even though you _know_ Tony freaking Stark is footing the bill when I pay. And I feel like you should enjoy eating food purchased by him more than you do.”

Wade looked a little ashamed, still behind his mask and Peter still couldn’t figure out _how_ that was possible. 

“I’m...well, I’m…” he started. “I’m trying to be a gentleman and buy you dinner, is that so crazy to think about?” he concluded.

“Why do you care about being a _gentleman_?” Peter knew Wade could see the disbelieving look he had on his face because after Wade’s visit to the Tower, Peter took his mask off when they were finished patrolling and away from prying eyes.

Wade shuffled his feet in an adorable manner and Peter started to smile. “Baby boy, I’m— I’m— hell I’m trying to court you,” he blurted out. Then, adding another surprise to the mix, shouted “Yeet!” and jumped off the building.


	3. You Tentacle My Fancy

Peter swung back to the Tower not quite understanding what had just happened. He greeted Steve and Tony with a wave and a grunt and went back to his room. Pulling off his Spidey suit he slithered into the pool where he rested his head in his arms and let the tentacles sway in the water. George came over to comfort him as he sighed.

“This is such a weird development in my life,” he admitted. “I just don’t know how I feel about everything.” George didn’t respond, as he was a tentacle, but did wind around Peter’s waist to give him a hug.

Peter composed a text to Aunt May, asking if he could come over because he missed her and Uncle Ben, but it was the middle of the night and he didn’t want to alarm her so he decided to wait to send it until the morning. He rolled over and stared at the ceiling. Karen and Janet wound around his middle and chest and made it feel like he was getting a hug. George stretched out so he could snuggle him like a pillow. 

“Guys, how did my life get so weird,” he asked as he tried to go to sleep.

\-----

Aunt May sent back that _of course_ Peter could come by,she and Uncle Ben would be happy to have him visit for the day. He didn’t feel like forcing himself into walking like a human so he took Tony up on his offer of a nondescript car. He arrived at his aunt and uncle’s house feeling a little more calm than he had expected considering he had been awake half the night puzzling over Wade’s intentions.

“Peter!” May exclaimed as he made his way into the living room. She held her arms out and he melted into the hug. “How are you? Is Stanley still being a jerk?”

Peter laughed a little and nodded his head. “Yeah, I’m OK. I don’t think Stanley will ever change though. How are you and Uncle Ben?”

She released him from the hug but still held onto his arms. “We’re fine. But honey, I don’t think that’s why you’re here.” She motioned to his beanbag. “Come on, I’ve got some red sauce simmering. We can talk while it cooks and you can stay for dinner.”

Peter relaxed into his favorite chair. “Thanks, Aunt May, that sounds perfect.

\-----

“So I just don’t understand what _he’s_ getting out of this arrangement?!?” he exclaimed after he had relayed his confusing conversation with Deadpool to his aunt and uncle. 

“Peter. Seriously, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re kind. Wade must recognize those qualities in you. And before you go on a tirade about how you have an _unconventional_ lower half, you mentioned that Wade had also experienced a similar mutation. So he must not mind your differences because he too is different,” his uncle replied. 

“I just got used to the idea of being alone. But also, like, I’m pretty sure he’s a lot older than me?”

“Age ain’t nothing but a number,” Aunt May interjected. At Peter’s glare, she smiled. “Seriously Peter, there are so many nonconforming ways to be in a relationship. And an age difference is an obstacle, sure, but if you want to try this out, don’t let it stop you.”

She and Uncle Ben looked at Peter. He felt a little weird at the scrutiny. “Wh— what? Did I get something on my face, do I have a second mutation that nobody noticed until _right now_?!?”

“No, no,” Ben assured him. “We just want to know all about your suitor.”

Peter let out a groan. “Why do… why is everybody acting like this is a historical romance novel?”

May just laughed. “We’re just excited for you, hon. We want you to be happy. And if you like this guy and he likes you back, then we’re happy too. You’re not the only one who was afraid your mutation would cause a disruption in this part of your life.”

“Ugh, can we just move on,” he grumbled. 

“Sure,” Uncle Ben replied easily. “Let’s watch a movie and then we can have some dinner.”

\-----

**”So Peter told his parental units about yours truly and they didn’t freak out. They’re pretty cool folks, May and Ben. Admittedly Peter had failed to mention what I did for a living. Now, I may not ‘un-alive’ people anymore but I still was all for different kinds of mayhem. Patrolling with Petey hadn’t quite cured me of that. But I was working on turning my life around, going straight, (well, not, _straight_ in all its connotations) but definitely thinking about not doing crime for money anymore.**

**“Still! I got a shout out. Which was better than what was going on with me. I had hit up _Sister Margaret’s_ and was trying to drink away my sorrows with Weasel. I know you may be thinking to yourself ‘DP can’t get drunk,’ and you’re mostly right. It just takes a lot of effort, one might say a maximum amount of effort, to achieve a loosey goosey feeling. It basically takes chugging an entire jar of Pappies Old-Timey Moonshine and I’m feeling pretty OK and less like I hate myself.**

**But you’re not here to listen to me whine, or hear about drinking things that would kill a regular mortal. We _all_ know you dirty monster fuckers (looking at you Symbrock fans) are here for tentacle porn. So let’s get back to the story.”**

Peter was swinging around, looking for Deadpool, if he was being honest, when he came across a mugging. 

“Hands up,” said criminal number one.

“Give us all your money,” said criminal number two.

 _This is not cool,_ Peter thought to himself.

“Ya know, there must be easier ways to make money,” Peter snarked as he landed in the alley. “Because how long did it take you to find a black outfit where all the black actually matched? Can’t have the other criminals calling you out on your fashion sense.” At the burglars’ confused gazes, he lept into action, jumping and kicking and finally webbing them to the ground. 

He spared a brief glance at the almost victim and waved awkwardly. “Go on, you’re OK now. If you want to wait to give your statement to the police that’s fine but you’re not in any danger anymore.”

Peter heard a clapping and cheering from the roof, and rolled his eyes. He _knew_ it could only be one person. And as if to prove his inner monologue correct, he heard “Great job, baby boy! You really showed those crooks who’s boss!” He spared a brief glance at the roof and felt his face heat. Deadpool was in his usual leather costume but had a large t-shirt that had “Spidey’s #1 Fan” printed in large red letters across a background of New York’s skyline.

Peter let out a sigh. “Thanks Deadpool.” He webbed his way up the building until he was on the roof.

Deadpool preened and stuck out his chest to try and bring Peter’s attention to his shirt. Peter huffed out a laugh. “Nice shirt, DP,” he said with a smile.

“Yeah, yeah, I was going to have them print ‘Baby Boy’s #1 Fan’ on it but the airbrush artist said nobody would know I meant _you_ , Spidey.” He held up a bag that was liberally coated in grease. “I brought you food!”

Peter heard his stomach grow. He smiled a real smile and took his mask off, charmed by Wade’s idea of “courting”. “Thanks, Wade, that was nice of you. I’m always hungry after I patrol.”

Wade shook his head. “Yeah, growing baby boy and all that,” he said in all seriousness.

“Well, that and since I have ten limbs, my metabolism is a little crazy.”

“My mutation freaked out my metabolism too,” Wade admitted. “The healing factor is fantastic for shaking off death but not so great when I need like ten thousand calories a day to not feel hungry.”

Peter settled himself down against the wall, facing the interior of the building. He patted the spot next to him. “Yeah, it does seem like we have more in common than I thought. Come on, share some food with me.”

Wade, almost tentatively, sat down next to Peter. He stretched his legs out and handed Peter a sandwich from a bag that wasn’t covered in grease, and set the other bag between them. At Peter’s questioning look he said “Bánh mì. It’s good.” Then he grabbed a handful of fries, turned around and appeared to shove them in his mouth.

Peter reached out to gently place his hand on Wade’s knee, which caused him to startle “You don’t have to turn around, Wade. You’ve seen my mutation and didn’t run away screaming. Please give me the same chance with you?”

Wade shook his head. “Nah, I’m good like this. Don’t want to put you off your food.”

Peter tightened his grip. “Wade, if we’re going to try this ridiculous courting—” he waved his other arm around “— you have to give me the same opportunities I've given you.”

Wade’s head cocked to the side. Quietly he responded, “OK, OK, baby boy. You win this round.” Then he turned his head and Peter saw what he had been alluding to during their previous encounters. In truth, his scars and scabs looked more painful than anything. Peter dug his nails into his hands to try and not show the pity he was feeling; thinking about how much the other man must suffer on a daily basis. He gave Wade a gentle squeeze.

“Thanks, Wade,” he whispered. 

Wade seemed to take that as acceptance because he was quickly back to his teasing, flirtatious nature. “You looked good down there Spidey, kicking ass and taking names. How do the supers feel about you fighting crime all by your lonesome?”

Peter smiled. “They’re _mostly_ OK with it. Tony installed a GPS in the suit, as well as a panic button.”

Wade made a disbelieving sound. “Are you… you’re an actual adult, right? I remember some of our conversations but the mess that is my brain sometimes eats memories.”

Peter just nodded. “Yeah, Wade, I’m an adult, legally anyway. I don’t actually know how to ‘adult’, most of the time though. But don’t worry, I’m 20 which is well over the age of consent.” Deadpool started to leer a little. Peter quickly changed topics. ”But The GPS and panic button are what I talked Tony _down_ to. He wanted to install a bodycam that sent everything back to the tower. Steve and Bucky helped talk him down. Something about Steve ‘not dying to defeat fascism only to treat his charge like he was living in a police state’.”

Wade shook his head. “Yeah, sure, makes sense. Fighting the good fight and all that other do-gooder stuff.”

Peter laughed at him. “C’mon, let’s eat. I’m hungry.”

They made quick work of their food and Wade’s scars didn’t bother Peter in the slightest. 

\-----

Wade seemed _easier_ around Peter after that. He was still reluctant to show his skin but he didn’t completely hide his face. While Peter was relieved to have some level of trust, he was still confused about their relationship. His honorary uncles didn’t help things.

“Honestly don’t know what you see in him, kid,” Tony said after Peter had recounted his and Wade’s latest patrol. “Seems like he’s just like a leech, hanging onto you for his idea of glory.”

Peter squared his shoulders and Janet and Karen wrapped around him. George wrapped around his arm; even Stanley was waving in a menacing manner. “Take it back,” Peter growled. “He’s kind and funny. And he _never_ wants to be mentioned when we save people. He always gives me all the credit, even when he’s had to put himself in bodily danger to help.”

Tony looked a little chagrined “Whatever. I’m just worried for you.”

Steve was on the other end of the spectrum.

“Bucky has good things to say about Wade, Peter. Feel free to invite him to dinner sometime. I know Tony is taking some time to win over, but maybe a meal together will help.” He cleared his throat. “I volunteer for Planned Parenthood and I got a couple of pamphlets for you.” Then Steve beamed at Peter while concurrently flushing bright red. “They helped me ‘n Bucky figure some things out. Now our situation isn’t exactly like yours, but I hope it will help you.” Steve shoved the fliers at Peter who promptly squeaked and took off as fast as he could in the opposite direction, face on fire from the embarrassment.

Bruce was non-committal, just saying, “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.” Peter recognized it as lyrics from an old song and rolled his eyes.

After the mixed reviews from his mentors, he decided to confront Deadpool directly.

**”Whoo, poor Peter and his poor, earnest uncles. None of them really were prepared for me. But it’s always nice to have baby boy in my corner. Not that anybody would put Baby in a corner. Also this may be dirty, but there probably won’t be any dancing.”**

Peter plopped down next to Wade, letting their shoulders touch, after they finished patrolling one night. He pulled his mask off to breathe some fresh, albeit slightly dank air, and leaned his head down to rest on Wade.

**”Squee! I love affectionate Peter!!!”**

“What exactly is this for you?” he mumbled in to Wade’s side.

“I like you,” he answered in a soft clear voice. “You make me laugh. You’re kind. You’re smart. You have good taste in deep fried food—” he trailed off. “You don’t run screaming when you see my face,” he whispered. 

“I’m an anxious ball of tentacles,” Peter countered.

Wade giggled. “A sexy ball of tentacles.” He threw his arm over Peter’s shoulders. “What are _you_ getting out of— whatever _this_ is, baby boy?” He did a weird snuffling thing into Peter’s hair that made them both laugh.

“Mostly the same things you said about me. You’re funny and you’re sweet. You’ve been doing a great job with the patrolling. And you’re modest. I know you talk a lot of shit about how great you are but you _refuse_ to be acknowledged when we save people. Yeah, the Daily Bugle has it out for me but you really don’t have to do that for me; you can be labeled a hero too. They don’t just have to report solely on the good things I do, you did them too. You say I don’t mind your face, but you don’t mind my lower half.

“And! I don’t feel like I’m settling for you, before you start up with that. You’re fucking ripped dude. And I live with _Captain America_. I’m not so easily swayed by a rockin’ bod.” Wade snorted at that. Peter rocked his body into Wade. “I don’t exactly know what _this_ is but I’m really enjoying spending time with you.”

 _“[I’ll be your lighthouse](https://youtu.be/TJQMWkui5YI) when you’re lost at sea,”_ Wade crooned. _“I’ll keep my light on, baby, you can always come to me. I wanna be the place you call your home. Just let me in your arms.”_

Peter turned so he could place a small kiss on Wade’s shoulder. “More Carly Rae?” he asked, feeling a smile start to form.

“She says everything I wish I could, baby boy.”

\-----

Peter swung his way back to the Tower, grinning as he mused about his conversation with Wade. Janet and Karen, buoyed by his mood, encouraged him to perform various feats of acrobatics. They would press slightly against his arms until he did the flips and twists that made him shriek and laugh.

He landed on the roof out of breath from laughter. Tony was waiting for him.

“Um, hi?”

“Hey Peter. Look. Certain spangled people have maybe brought it to my attention that I did not behave in the most mature of manners. It was also brought to my attention by a red-headed menace that perhaps I used to be a lot like Wade in that I was reckless and self-absorbed. And both people pointed out to me in no uncertain terms that if I could change, maybe Wade could also change.

“So what the hell, kid. Bring him over sometime I guess.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Uh, yeah, sure Tony. Thanks.”

Tony abruptly turned and left. Peter stood in shock for a few moments before he huffed out a “that was weird,” and went down to his room. He flopped down on the largest beanbag and let out a sigh, and wriggled out of the suit so his tentacles could spread out and rested his head on Karen. He started thinking about Wade. He hadn’t been lying when he told Wade that he found him attractive. Sure he was scarred but Peter’s lower half was a mess of tentacles, so live and let live. 

Peter started to think about what it had felt like being wrapped in Wade’s strong arms. Rolling over he mushed his face into the material. He groaned a little as he thought about Wade’s thick thighs, his bulging biceps. 

“I am such a walking stereotype,” he complained to himself. His brain just took him back to thoughts of Wade’s ass and how his rough lips would feel gently scraping over one of his dicks. He groaned again, this time not from embarrassment but rather from the vivid thoughts his brain was supplying him with. His special tentacles, which usually stayed as close to his core as possible, started to uncurl. 

He could feel the appendages start to swell a little. They weren’t like his dick before his mutation, rather they tended to be pretty small until he was aroused and then they thickened up. They were comparable in size to the original unit which meant his muscle memory hadn’t changed. However as they were the same length as his other tentacles, he could do so much more with them. 

Sucking his own dick had been an _interesting_ discovery. He also was appreciative that he could practice with himself before he added a partner. Though the idea of a partner had always seemed far fetched. But with Wade indicating interest, he was beginning to think maybe the experience would be helpful. 

He started as he always did, the two tentacles wound around each other and rubbed together on his chest. He could come just from the friction but he preferred to wrap _something_ around at least one of them. Another fun thing about his dicks was that they were self lubricating. He’d had yet another awkward talk with Steve about lube and what would be the most comfortable and Peter had flushed scarlet when he admitted that lube was unnecessary. 

He had experimented in the past and realized while he could get off if only one was stimulated, he much preferred it when both were in play. The tentacles worked in tandem for his orgasm so multiple orgasms weren’t really a thing for him. Yes, he had a short refractory period, but he couldn’t come from one tentacle and then immediately come from the other one.

His mind produced varying images of Wade and the things they could do together. Peter wondered if Wade would let him penetrate him. He thought about his dicks surrounding Wade’s and rubbing them all until they were both undone. His tentacles picked up in speed and one of his support tentacles moved up to start tweaking at his nipples. The four tentacles with personalities usually stayed quiet during his “special time” because he got embarrassed thinking about having them as an audience. Besides four tentacles was plenty for getting off. 

Today his imagination and the friction of the two tentacles was apparently enough because after a few minutes he was making a mess on his chest. He waited until his breathing slowed and dove into the pool to wash off. He couldn’t fit in an actual shower or tub and the soap irritated his tentacles so he had to wash in the pool. Tony made sure the contents were heavily filtered hourly and the entire pool was flushed weekly without any prompting. Peter was glad for the tact Tony had displayed in not asking about how Peter cleaned himself.

He swam around for a few minutes and drifted off, head cradled by George and Janet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a pet rat and I beta read and do edits on my own fics with her and she added this to chapter 3 so I thought I would share.
> 
> Notes from Sif
> 
> 99999999e2073334*********************************ud666666t
> 
> And a big thank you to [Mortenavida](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortenavida) for Googling octopus penises for me.


	4. I’m a Sucker For You

**”If anybody was wondering, _yes_ I am happy to do whatever my baby boy wants. Anything he can think of, I’ll be down for that train to funky town as long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual. Tee-bee-H whatever he’s thought of, I have also probably touched myself thinking about. **

**“I’m just glad that he finds me sexy. I mean, yeah, I cut a great figure in my leathers but like, I’m covered in scars? And all Peter apparently cares about is the texture on him. Which is pretty rad. So this may end up being a happy story for all involved. And by _all_ I mean all three of our dicks.”**

Peter found himself anxiously awaiting his next team up with Wade. He blushed thinking about his fantasies but reassured himself that Deadpool was interested in him. He _really_ wanted to find the courage to invite the other man to the Tower for dinner and a movie. And, if he was being honest with himself, maybe a little making out. Peter had kissed a couple of people, briefly and totally awkwardly, before his mutation, but five years between kisses was a long time. Plus he wanted to see if the textured lips felt as good on him as he hoped.

So he was rather disappointed to get to _their_ rooftop only to see that Wade wasn’t there. He decided to wait a little bit, and tried to keep his focus on listening for crime. He was daydreaming about the merc though when he heard a loud thump followed by a tiny “Ow. Fuck.”

Peter scrambled up to try and find who had crashed on the roof. He walked over to the corner and saw Wade laying on his side and missing half of his left leg.

“Holy shit! Are you OK?” he half-shrieked. 

“Ugh, yeah Spidey, I’ll grow it back,” Deadpool said while gesturing to his leg. 

“But—but, doesn’t it hurt?” Peter asked in a whisper.

“Yeah but, what doesn’t hurt at this point?” Wade answered and then slapped his hand over his mouth. “Shit, DP you weren’t supposed to tell him that! Too heavy for the first date!” he furiously whispered to himself. 

“Date?!?” Peter squeaked.

Wade rolled over and dug in one of his various pouches to produce a very badly crushed, tiny bouquet of white daisies and yellow roses. Then he promptly passed out.

Peter swore a blue streak and hefted Wade up, taking care to not further damage the sprigs of flowers. He felt his heart flutter as he swung back to the tower with the injured man. Usually Peter was able to slip into his floor unnoticed, one of the _compromises_ he and Tony had made was the ability to leave his floor whenever he wanted without having to report his coming and going. Peter had been firm: if Tony wanted him to have a tracker, then Peter could come and go as he pleased. Unsurprisingly Steve had been a staunch supporter of Peter’s freedom. 

But with Wade having only part of a leg, Peter was forced to land on the roof which meant JARVIS would alert Tony. He sighed and waited for the inevitable. After about a minute he heard a soft voice.

“Stark’s not coming,” Bucky said as he stepped out onto the roof, trying to allay Peter’s worry. “JARVIS let me and Stevie know you were here. Come on, kid— god this guy has to be heavy. His weaponry alone must weigh 20 pounds.”

Peter was rooted to the spot. Then he shook his head; of course Bucky would be sympathetic to Wade. He nodded and let Bucky grab Wade by his remaining leg, leading them into the tower. Peter still had hold of his torso and Deadpool sleepily nuzzled into Peter’s chest.

“Baby boy, ‘zat you?” he mumbled.

“Yeah, Wade. You’re out a leg. What happened?” he furiously whispered. 

Bucky looked back with his brows furrowed. “You can talk this out when he’s more stable,” he admonished.

“Sorry! Sorry—” Peter started. 

“No ‘s ok,” Wade slurred. “Talk in your room,” he finished and passed out again.

Bucky gave them both a kind look. “Steve and I will keep Stark off your back for a couple of hours. But I can almost guarantee Steve’s gonna want to have another ‘safe sex’ talk if you’re holed up in there for too long after he grows his leg back.”

They made their way into Peter’s room and laid Wade down on a beanbag. Wade let out a little groan and Bucky motioned him over to the far side, near the pool. “If he wakes up disoriented and violent, have JARVIS call somebody right away. It doesn’t have to be me, and it _shouldn’t_ be Bruce, but call someone. And before you start, I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself, but from what I’ve seen, and my own experiences, that man would rather cut off his arm than hurt you. So don’t put him in that position, for both your sakes.” 

Peter nodded. “Yeah, OK. I’ll do that.” He heard another groan from Wade and shot a worried glance at him. “Um, I’ve got it from here?”

“Good luck. He’s got a great healing factor but he still hurts. So just— be careful.” Bucky turned and left and Peter wondered exactly what he had gotten himself into.

He slipped out of his Spidey suit, slipped on a shirt, then glided over to where Wade was still passed out. He curled up next to him and rested his head on the other man’s shoulder.

\-----

Peter awoke with a start. Deadpool was gently stroking his hair and cooing at him. Peter looked up in surprise, he felt Wade’s body wiggle and looked down to see a badly scarred leg protruding from the lower half of the ripped uniform.

“It grew back!” Wade pronounced and Peter could see his smile through the mask.

“Can you— can you hold me?” he asked, in a timid voice. Embarrassingly he felt tears fill his eyes. “That was scary, Wade,” he admitted.

Wade moved Peter until they were in a hug. “It’s OK, Petey. I know this is new to you but this is just the same-old same-old for me. I always grow everything back!” Peter felt him move again, then felt Wade’s leather clad cheek nuzzling his own. 

“Better?” Wade asked as they were mushed together.

“Much,” Peter replied thickly. “So...what were you doing that made you lose a leg?” 

“Oh, just the usual. Fighting some baddies for SHIELD.”

Peter gasped. “SHIELD?”

Wade nodded and Peter moved his head so he could see his face. 

“After we started doing, _whatever_ it is that we’re attempting to do, your Patriotic and Iron Uncles paid me a visit. They didn’t _technically_ threaten me but they didn’t exactly not threaten me? There were lots of narrowed eyes and nostril flares. Cap wasn’t too bad because he’s shacking up with a former brainwashed assassin, but Stark seemed to take it personally that I used to take money for mayhem. It was suggested that I find a new line of work sooner rather than later.

“Then, next thing I knew some guy named Coulson was calling me and he handed me off to this awesome lady named Preston. And now I apparently cause mayhem for the US government. Pretty sweet, huh? I mean, it pays less but I’m flush from all my years of doing crime.”

Wade shook his head and smiled at Peter. He sat up and Peter struggled to stay upright. Then, annoyingly, Wade reached over and pinched Peter’s cheek in a manner known by grandchildren worldwide. Wade made a loud _mwah_ as he kissed the spot he had just pinched. Peter rolled his eyes as he shook his head at the silliness.

“Enough of this serious talk baby! Do you have a TV or anything? I’m dying to watch something. My brain needs a little downtime after growing my leg back! Plus I wanna change into my spare suit.”

Peter nodded and gestured to the wall that would open to reveal a large television. “Um, Tony pays for all the stations. Like _all_ of them. We’ve got shows from Australia and China.” Wade chuckled and it rocked Peter a little."I don't really have a bathroom but I'll close my eyes and you can go wherever."

Wade nodded and Peter turned his head, closed his eyes, and for good measure, covered his face with his hands. He felt Wade get up, then heard some rustling, and finally felt Wade settle back onto the beanbag. 

"I'm decent again, Webs. You can open your eyes," Wade whispered as he moved so they could resume snuggling.

Peter looked at Wade and smiled. “JARVIS can you turn on the TV?”

“Does— uh, does JARVIS record you? Cause that’s creepy slash awesome for certain things.”

JARVIS’ voice chimed in. “Mr. Stark has set up the personal living areas, Peter’s included, to only react to my voice. I am dormant in all other situations,” he answered Wade. “Peter, what would you like to watch?” he continued.

Peter looked at Wade. “Any ideas?” he asked. 

Wade shook his head.”Whatever you want, Petey. I’m just happy cuddling with you.”

Peter felt a blush stain his face. “Um, whatever is on Food Network, JARVIS? Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Peter. I shall turn off until either of you summon me.”

The TV flicked on and it was some show with a kindly looking older woman with brown hair who was reassuring her audience that if they couldn’t make their own chicken stock, store bought was fine. Wade’s arm tightened and Peter snuggled back into him.

“Tell me honestly, Wade. How are you?”

“Fine. I promise, I’m fine now. I’ve got you, we’re watching Ina on this incredibly overdone television, and I’m comfy on your big blob-y chair. There’s nowhere I would rather be.”

Peter relaxed into Wade’s arm and let out a sigh. “I’m glad,” he whispered.

They watched the show a little longer until there was a tiny knock at Peter’s door, followed by a quiet “Peter, it’s Steve. Can I come in?”

Peter felt Wade tense. “Um, give me a minute? It’s—” his voice squeaked a little— “it’s nothing bad!” He moved so he could look at Wade.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine, baby.” He smirked at Peter. "I’m not defiling your ward in here, Cap!” he shouted. “Losing a leg really kills my mojo!”

Peter heard Steve huff out a laugh. He rolled his eyes at Wade. “Really?” he asked with a smile. 

Wade leaned over and pressed his masked lips against Peter’s cheek. “This doesn’t count as our first kiss,” he murmured. 

“Steve, you can come in! Nothing weird or private is happening!” he said through a goofy grin. Steve still took his time, telegraphing his moves; opening the door slowly and peering around the corner before he walked in.

“We just wanted to see if you wanted pizza for dinner and if so, is there anything Wade liked,” he explained. “I’m not here for any other reason.” Then he muttered, assuming Peter wouldn’t be able to hear, “No matter what Bucky says. Ass.”

Peter could feel the vibrations from Wade’s silent laughter. 

“I like anything! Meats, veggies, a couple of fruits, sometimes things you wouldn’t think _should_ be added to pizzas, (looking at you macaroni and cheese pizza makers). As long as it’s hot and cheesy I’ll eat it. And it doesn’t even have to be pizza cheese! I like feta and spinach on a pie. Or a nice prosciutto and goat cheese! I’ll eat almost any kind of pizza out there. Hell, I’ll eat it cold,” Wade rambled. Then he abruptly stopped. Peter rested his head back on Wade’s shoulder. Wade continued on in a quieter voice, “yeah, whatever Petey and the three uncles like, I’ll eat.”

Steve gave them a kind smile. “Sounds good. We’ll order a little of everything. Do you have similar caloric needs? Because most of us are enhanced and Tony never skimps on food. Gotta make sure we have enough for tonight and cold leftovers for breakfast tomorrow.”

Peter saw Wade nod. 

“Yeah, he eats like us,” he replied to Steve. “His healing factor burns almost as many calories as my mutation,” he explained as Wade sat in silence.

Steve winked at Peter. “Sounds good. I’ll have JARVIS give you the heads up for when it gets here. I think Sam will be there too but it should just be the core group tonight. No need to stress over new people.” He turned and left as Wade stared at the door. 

“Why is Cap being so nice?” he asked with wonder in his voice.

“Cause me and Bucky vouched for you. If his husband and adopted nephew-type-person tell him somebody is good people, he believes us.”

“The Winter Soldier likes me! He really likes me!” Wade gasped. 

Peter bit back a smile and peered at Wade through his eyelashes. “Don’t push it,” he grumbled, chewing on his bottom lip only to succumb to the smile. He could feel his eyes crinkle as he giggled. “You’re such a dork, Wade.”

“Yeah, but it works for me. Besides that Sally Field chick looks suspiciously like your Aunt May a quarter of the time.”

Peter cocked his head. “A quarter of the time?” he asked.

“Yeah cause she’s only in two of your movies,” Wade answered nonsensically. “And in the newest one, she’s animated.” 

“Suuuuure….” Peter blinked. “Back to cuddling and whatever is on the TV? Pizza is the quickest thing we order but it still takes some time.”

“Sounds like a plan, baby boy.”

They snuggled together and Peter drifted off to sleep, lulled by the warm body and soft noise of the tv show.

When Peter woke up he was wound around Wade. His leg tentacles were all around Wade’s actual legs. Karen and George were wound around Wade’s middle while Stanley was staunchly staying out of the cuddle fest. Peter’s dicks were, thankfully, still tucked into his core, hidden by Janet. He couldn’t imagine the embarrassment of waking up to them practically molesting Wade. 

Wade must have noticed that Peter was awake because he grumbled, “These things are all kinds of clingy, Webs.”

Peter flushed. “Sor— sorry!” he squeaked. “I can—”

“No! I’m really only mostly joking. Not gonna lie, they’re pretty soft and squishy.” 

“I, um, George is the one around your waist and Karen is your pillow,” Peter said in a rush. “Stanley is the jerk trying to stay away from everything and Janet is keeping me decent.”

Wade squealed. “YOU NAMED YOUR TENTACLES?!? That’s _adorable_!”

Peter hid his face in his arms. “I mean, they mostly all act differently?”

JARVIS saved Peter from more awkward conversation and chimed in, “Captain Rogers and Sir have requested I inform you that there is pizza.”

“You’re a good bro, JARVIS,” Wade answered the AI. Then he looked at Peter. Peter raised his brows at the scrutiny. 

“What’s up Wade?”

“You just look all soft and sweet and schmoopy after your nap. I was just wondering. I mean, if it’s not a good time or something, there’s pizza and I don’t want it to get cold or anything, but I would imagine Tony has invented something that keeps pizza at peak temperature, but anyway I was just wondering if, before the garlic and onion and sardine breath, if maybe I could kiss you?”

Peter’s brain quit working. He could only nod. Then he mumbled a soft “Yeah, that sounds nice. I think I'd like that.”

Wade rolled his mask up to his nose. Peter smiled at the trust because while Wade might not be confident enough to bare his whole face, he was exposing half of it. He kept his eyes focused on Wade’s lips. They got closer and suddenly Wade’s nose was nuzzling Peter’s and he could feel the other man’s breath on his mouth, which was somehow minty fresh. Wade paused, waiting for Peter to close the distance, giving him an out if he had second thoughts. Peter shut his eyes and leaned the extra centimeter until their lips were touching and Wade was suddenly kissing him. They shared a few closed mouth kisses until Peter’s curiosity got the best of him and he darted out his tongue to lick at Wade’s lips. His lips were scarred but soft, and he wanted to feel the texture everywhere. Wade groaned and Peter licked at his lips again. 

“You’re killin’ me baby boy,” he mumbled against Peter’s lips. “We’ve got to go have dinner with the supers and there’s no give in this dance belt. I cannot get all wound up right now, it gets kinda uncomfortable.”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, OK, we can stop— wait, what’s a dance belt?”

Wade looked away. “I mean you don’t think my junk is this smooth in real life, right? It kinda gives the bangers and mash a little lift and tuck and keeps me decent while I do my thing. Plus it’s a thong, so I feel sexy. But we don’t have to stop! Just maybe keep it PG?”

Instead of answering, Peter leaned in and captured Wade’s mouth again. They shared a few more lazy, open mouth kisses until there was pounding on the door.

“I don’t care what Steve says, if y’all are naked in there, we’re having _words_ Wilson,” Tony shouted.

“Fuck off!” Wade shouted back. “There has been no besmirchment of virtue in here!” 

Peter groaned and rolled away from Wade and the warm beanbag. “We’re on our way, Tony,” he grumbled as he moved towards the door. He looked back at Wade who was still stretched out, with a smirk on his face.

“You know, neither of you are as intimidating as you act,” Peter snarked. 

Wade gasped. “Them’s fighting words, Spidey.”

\-----

Much to Peter’s surprise, dinner conversation was easy and fun. Tony was a little cranky but Peter had to admit, he wasn’t nearly as overbearing as he had feared. Sam and Peter tried to out-pun each other while Wade and Bucky had a very serious pizza eating contest. Steve just watched everybody with a look of contentment on his face. No one commented on the fact that after he had finished shoving two and a half pizzas in his face, Wade took Peter’s hand in his own. 

**”Yeah for some reason the supers didn’t seem to hate me as much. I mean it was probably half that I was working for SHIELD and half that they didn’t want to upset their little Spider-boy. Also because of my cunning wit and impeccable table manners.”**

“Jesus _Christ_ , Wade. Can you chew with your mouth closed?” Tony had shouted.

**”Wooooooow. Way to call me out author lady, fuck you very much.”**


	5. You Octopi My Heart

After they finished dinner, things were a little easier. Wade decided he was feeling well enough to go home and Peter offered to swing him there.

“Baby boy, I appreciate the offer. Like, _a lot_ but also my place is pretty much a shit hole. I really don’t want you to come over until I’ve incinerated everything that has body fluids on it. Which, let’s be real, is like the whole thing. Maybe I’ll just move. Yeah! That’s a better idea.”

Peter was shocked into laughter. “You’re going to move instead of clean?” he asked with a big smile.

“You haven’t seen my apartment. It’s pretty gnarly.”

Peter shook his head. Janet reached up to pull Wade into a hug.

“So uh...your friend down there is getting fresh with me. Any idea what that’s about?”

Peter snuggled into Wade’s chest, turning their hug into a standing snuggle. “She likes you, Wade. We all do.”

Wade tightened his arms around Peter “I like you too Peter. And all the things that are connected to you.”

Peter felt his cheeks heat. “Good,” he whispered then tilted his head up and tried his best to give Wade a “you should kiss me right now” look. He apparently was successful because Wade lifted his mask, leaned down, and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

“Do you have to go home right now?” Peter asked, their lips still touching.

“I— I can stay a little bit. But we don’t want the elders to gossip too much.”

Peter took half a step back. “You realize Steve is technically _younger_ than you, right?” 

“Maybe in years but in maturity he’s could be my father. Wouldn’t that be wild? Cap as my dad. Can’t imagine he would be as big of an asshole as my _actual_ dad. But that’s not something we need to get into in front of the pretty boy,” he muttered as he looked to the left.

Wade squared his shoulders and pulled Peter back into a hug, squishing his head into Wade’s pectorals. “Shall we retire to yours?” he asked in a silly voice.

Peter nodded and rolled his eyes. 

They walked back into Peter’s room and he was suddenly hit by how awkward everything was now that they had kissed and were contemplating doing more. Wade still had has arm slung over Peter’s shoulders and must have noticed the slight stiffening in his entire body.

“Look Petey, we don’t have to do anything beyond what we did earlier. Hell, you could hold my hand for an hour and this would still count as the most action I’ve gotten in a while. I know I’m older and I’m assuming more experienced than you, though we all know what happens when you assume. Anyway, I’m happy to take it slow if you want.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Peter said as he let out a shaky breath. “Sorry, I don’t mean to freak out—”

Wade put index finger on Peter’s lips in a universal “shut up” gesture. “Don’t apologize for this. This is nothing you have done wrong, there’s literally no wrong way to have consensual sex. I mean, there might be some ways that just _aren’t right_ but if it feels good for both of us then I’m here for it. And what doesn’t feel good is rushing someone into something they’re not ready for. So we can just take this at your pace. I mean I might have to leave and take care of a couple of problems but I can take care of it on my own. You don’t need to worry about it. It will be fine. I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Janet will be fine. Karen will be fine… 

“What do your guys do when you’re getting freaky btw? And like, how many dicks do you have? Wait! Shit! Don’t answer that, that’s too invasive of a question this early! Shit! Sorry!”

Wade moved away from Peter and hung his head. “Baby boy, I formally apologize. I’m so sorry. I just went on my big spiel about not rushing you and then my big fat mouth went all word vomit-y.” Peter could see his fists clenching and relaxing in what he imagined was a unconscious nervous tic. 

Peter huffed out a laugh. “Really it’s OK, Wade. I have eight things—”

“Tentacles, baby. They’re smoking hot tentacles.” Wade looked up to him with what Peter hoped was a smile behind his mask.

Peter let out a little _eep_. “OK I have eight tentacles. You’ve met the main four. I have two that help me walk and two that are reserved for _other_ activities. They tend to stay out of sight because they’re more responsive—” he shuddered thinking about that _one_ night. “Yeah they’re more responsive to outside stimuli so they stay close to my core. They look the same for the most part. In fact, it took a while before I knew what they were. They didn’t seem different in any way. Then I had a dream which resulted in the first of many uncomfortable conversations with Steve.”

Peter moved closer to Wade and slid his arm around Wade’s waist. He leaned his head on Wade’s shoulder and heard Wade bark out a laugh.

“So am I to understand that you got the ‘birds and the bees’ talk from Captain America himself?”

Peter felt himself flush. “Yeah. Somehow he has been in charge of my sexual education for the last five years. I mean, until this point it’s all been purely academic but it’s still awkward as fuck. I don’t know if he volunteered or if he drew the short straw.”

Wade turned and pulled Peter into a hug. “I dunno, I think he probably volunteered. Being queer when he was a kid was a crime. He probably was so happy to wake up in the 21st century and realize there are a lot of us.”

“It’s still _terrible_ ”, Peter mumbled into Wade. “Have we had enough of an embarrassing conversation about my mutation and Steve’s ‘go-getter’ attitude? Can we do something, _anything_ else?”

Peter felt Wade move around and suddenly he could feel Wade’s bare lips on his cheek. He smiled as Wade pressed a small, sweet kiss there.

“Sure. More cuddling on the beanbag and watching The Food Network?” 

Peter sighed in relief. “Yeah that sounds perfect.”

\-----

**”So we cuddled and didn’t do much more. I wasn’t lying when I said losing a limb took my mojo. It basically makes me really hungry, and sleepy once I’ve eaten. So this time I was the one who fell asleep on Spidey. He was sweet and let me drool on him. _Ahem_ it was not my finest moment. But Webs didn’t make fun of me or anything. It was honestly one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. **

**"That Peter Parker is a real good guy, no matter the universe. Like even 40 year old ‘Big Mood’ Parker is a decent guy. This universe’s Peter is no different. But you're not here to listen me wax poetic about the multiverse and the Spider-people in it. Your nasty minds are here for the tentacle porn. Y’all need Odin or Jesus or somebody. _Not_ me cause clearly I’m exactly the same but _somebody_.”**

Things were different after Wade spent the night. They were still taking everything slow. Peter didn’t know how sex with two tentacle dicks and one human dick would work so he was thankful for Wade’s insistence that they not jump into anything. 

Between the age difference, them both being a little insecure about their mutations, and the fact that Peter was completely inexperienced, Wade thought it would be a dick move to rush Peter into anything.

**”For what it’s worth, anybody pressuring someone into sex is a real dick move. Or a vagina move. Or some beautiful combination of the two. Just in general, not a good thing to do is what I mean.”**

Wade had also started patrolling with Peter a lot more. They would swing though the city stopping mayhem. When Wade wasn’t the one causing the mayhem anyway. But he was taking more and more jobs for SHIELD, a fact that wasn’t lost on Peter.

“So what exactly do you do for SHIELD?” he asked one evening a month into their patrols. “You’re always here with me. Not that I’m complaining! In fact just the opposite! I love that you’re here!” His voice got a little squeaky as he tried to not offend Wade.

Wade laughed at him. “Baby boy, I’m on retainer. Or something. I dunno. But I freelance so I can more or less pick my jobs. If there’s a true emergency that the A-Team needs little old me for, then I’ll step up. Until then I like to stay close to the city and I’ve turned down all the overnight jobs. I don’t have to keep doing that if I’m getting on your nerves! I can leave if I’m getting on your nerves. It’s OK! I know I’m not for everybody.” 

Peter looked at Wade, who sitting next to him on the ledge of the rooftop they were currently occupying, and saw him try to make himself smaller. “Hey. Wade. I think we’re saying the same thing here. We both want to hang out with each other. Don’t feel bad?”

Wade looked up at Peter and cocked his head. “Good. I thought we were but I got all flustered and shit. I haven’t had a whole lot of practice with this since the whole mutation thing. I mean, I accidentally married an eight foot tall, yellow alien and my last relationship was with a succubus. Which, while those were lots of fun in the beginning, they didn’t exactly prepare me for this situation. I guess I’m learning as much as you are.”

Peter closed his eyes for a moment, the emotion in Wade’s voice making him feel sad and happy and scared and excited, all at the same time. When he spoke, his voice was rough. “That actually makes me feel a lot better. I like being on even ground, even if it’s just that we’re both awkward and have no idea what the hell we’re doing. Can I— can I lift up your mask a little and kiss you?”

Wade visibly perked up at that. He reached and grabbed Peter’s hand. “Yeah, that sounds great.” He helped Peter wiggle so he was facing the opposite direction. With their legs on opposite sides of the roof, they could actually see each other's face. But Peter also knew Wade was moving him into the safer spot on the ledge.

“I can look out, Wade. I can catch myself if I fall. Besides I know you won’t let me fall.”

Wade sighed at him. “I know both those things are true. But I would feel better if the _indestructible man_ was in a more precarious position instead of the beautiful boy who, for some reason wants to hang out with the train-wreck undying man.”

Peter rolled his eyes and nodded. “OK. But can I?” He gestured to Wade’s mask. Wade nodded and Peter gently reached over to lift his mask up to his nose. Then he lifted his own mask up and took a deep breath. The night air was so much more pleasant when his face wasn’t totally covered by spandex. He leaned in and gently kissed Wade, making sure to keep it light and soft. Peter closed his eyes and rubbed their cheeks together, liking how Wade’s face was a little rough against his. Enjoying the contact, he moved his mouth back to Wade’s and after a few moments darted his tongue out to lick at the other man’s lips.

Wade let out a breath, a slight shudder overtaking his body. Peter huffed out a little laugh.

“We’ve done this before, Wade,” he whispered against the other man’s lips, setting off another round of small shakes.

“Yeah, baby boy. But it just feels different tonight. We’re out in the open and anyone could see Spider-Man rubbing off on Deadpool.”

That set Peter off into laughter. “You know that’s not what we’re doing, right? Like, just my cheek is touching yours!” Peter could feel his cheeks heat. He kissed Wade again. “I mean… we could change that though?”

Wade’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open a little. “Sure!” he half squeaked. “It's just— “ he let out a cough. “If you want to.” Then he leaned over, put his hand on Peter’s shoulder, smirked, and said in a deeper than usual voice, “hey”.

Peter shook his head. “If you’re going to use cheesy pick-up lines, we don’t have to.” He knew Wade could tell he wasn’t being serious by the huge grin on his face.

**”OK I _know_ I’m not the only one who got the shivers when Mahershala Ali did the shoulder touch. Even if his character was animated, it was pretty steamy.”**

Wade pulled his mask down. “Race you to yours!” he shouted then dove off the roof and shot some sort of contraption that used a grappling hook to swing himself. Unlike Peter, he didn’t have a way to secure second line so he just went back and forth on the same rope until he was still.

“A little help here, Webs?” he asked in what Peter assumed was supposed to be a pitiful voice. Peter giggled and lowered himself down. 

“Monkey?” he asked.

Wade nodded and snorted. “Imma be like a spider monkey and ‘hold on tight’.” Then he wrapped himself around Peter’s side, legs and arms clinging to him. A few minutes later when they saw Stark Tower in the distance, Wade started to fidget 

“What’s up?” Peter half shouted over the wind.

“Just not sure if you want me to come in through the front door or if we need to keep it on the DL from the super uncles. I’m fine with either. They know we’re dating so I don’t feel like you’re ashamed of me. I just don’t know if you want them to know we’re planning on getting freaky.”

Peter thought as they made quick work of another block. “Let’s go in together,” he decided. “I’ve had all the uncomfortable conversations about safe sex. If they’re not happy with me putting their advice to use, that’s on them.”

Wade nodded and clung to Peter even tighter as they finally reached the tower. Peter landed them on the roof with a soft _oof_ and Wade let go. Peter took Wade’s hand in his and gave him a quick mask-on-mask kiss. “We’re good, Wade. We’re good,” he stated.

Wade nodded again and they walked to the elevator that would take them to Peter’s floor. Peter felt a little apprehensive but mostly he was excited. He and Wade had kept themselves to hands above the waist during their make-out sessions and Peter was starting to get a little wound up. He appreciated that Wade didn’t want to rush things, because that would have been a bad idea, but Peter was definitely ready to move forward in their relationship. A little. A baby step. Not too much. But not too little either. Navigating a relationship was harder than Peter had ever imagined. 

Wade must have sensed his nerves because he reached his hand out to hold Peter’s. “We won’t do anything you’re not 100% on board with, Petey. I promise.”

Peter felt the stress and anxiety melt as he realized Wade meant exactly what he said. Peter knew he could trust him to not go further, not do more than they were both comfortable with. He squeezed Wade’s hand. 

“Thanks,” he whispered.

They reached Peter’s room without running into anyone. Peter imagined Bucky or Steve had warned everyone off. He opened the door and Wade pulled him over to what Peter had deemed his favorite beanbag; it was the one they spent the most time together on.

“If we’re going to do more, there’s something I want to do for you first,” Wade said in a solemn voice. He took a deep breath. Peter noticed a fine tremor in Wade’s hand as Wade gave one last squeeze and let go. He moved both hands up to his mask and hesitated.

“You can tell me to get lost if this—” he gestured to his face, still hidden by the mask "—is too much. It’s not easy for anybody to look at. I don’t want you to be grossed out or feel uncomfortable. But I want you to see my enitre face before we go any farther. Just in case you want to change your mind.” Peter shook his head vehemently. He couldn’t imagine a cosmetic flaw would be enough for him to reject Wade. He already had major feels for the other man. Scars, even extensive scars, wouldn’t change Peter’s mind.

“I’ve seen part of your face already and it didn’t gross me out. Seeing the whole thing isn’t going to change my mind. But thank you. I was a little scared, not gonna lie. I dunno. This feels like maybe I’m doing something new and so are you. Which makes me feel better.”

Wade looked at Peter’s face, searching for something. He must have found what he was looking for because he let out a big sigh. “OK, I guess I’m doing this,” he whispered to himself.

Then he lifted his mask and slammed his eyes shut. Peter couldn’t decide which part of Wade he wanted to pay attention to more: his strong jawline, his gorgeous cheekbones, or his adorably nerdy ears that stuck out a little, but was only noticeable because he had no hair on his head. He reached a hand out to cup Wade’s cheek. Wade shuddered a little and opened his eyes. They were a beautiful brown. _No,_ Peter corrected himself. They were hazel. Light brown with flecks of green. Peter couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face.

He laughed a little. “Wade,” he said in a shocked voice. “You’re beautiful.”

Wade gaped at him a little. Then he smirked. “Still got it,” he said as he winked at Peter.

Peter felt himself blush and giggled some more. “You’re such a nerd. Let me get out of my mask? And maybe I can change into a shirt instead of the whole Spider-man get-up?”

Wade flopped on the beanbag and covered his eyes with his arm. “Feel free to do whatever, Webs. I like you anyway I can get you: Spidery persona or adorable tentacle Peter. They all do it for me.”

Peter made quick work of undressing in the corner farthest from Wade. He slipped on a shirt he bought in jest when he and Wade first started hanging out. Wade laughed as he saw what was printed on the front. It was π but with eight legs, making it an octoπ.

“A math pun, baby boy?” Wade asked with a smile.

Indignant, Peter responded, “those are the _best_ puns.”

Still gigging a little, he glided over to Wade and lowered himself to the beanbag and nuzzled at Wade’s arm to try and get him to open his eyes. Wade took the hint and gazed at Peter with worship in his eyes. Peter really liked being able to see the expressions in those hazel eyes so he grinned.

“So…” he started. “What do you feel like doing? I’m new to everything so when I hear ‘Netflix and chill’ I literally think movies and cuddles. Teach me, oh wise one.”

Wade relaxed a little. “I mean, we don’t have to plan things out. Unless that sounds fun or calming to you!” Peter shook his head. “Then,” Wade continued, “then we just do what we normally do except I’ll ask if I can do something and you decide if you want to do it?”

“You don’t have to—” Peter started.

“No. Baby. Baby _boy_. I’m not some teenager in the back seat of my dad’s car. I’m a grown man with a lot of experience and part of that is stressing to you the importance of consent. It won’t be weird or awkward in the moment, I promise. We can have fun with it and I can continue not hating myself for taking advantage of you. Because yes, I understand you’re not a child. And I’m not trying to make these decisions for you. But trust me, Peter. For us? In this situation, I want to make sure you’re on board with everything we do.”

Peter grabbed Wade’s arm and moved it so that they were snuggling. He kissed Wade on the cheek. “Thanks. You’re right. Of course you’re right.”

Wade barked out a laugh. “There’s no ‘of course’ about it Petey. I just want to make this good for you.”

Peter nosed at Wade’s face. It was weird and awkward but it had the desired effect of making Wade turn his face so they could align their lips. Peter felt a sudden surge of bravery and leaned into Wade, nipping gently at his bottom lip. He felt Wade groan beside him. Then he placed a prim peck on Wade’s mouth causing Wade to grin. They both moved into each other’s space, trading gentle kisses, their noses bumping. Peter closed his eyes and rubbed his bare cheek against Wade’s, reveling in the rough texture.

“Your skin is so soft,” Wade whispered. “It feels really nice.”

Peter preened. “Your skin feels really nice too.” He leaned in and deepened the kiss, this time nipping and licking until Wade opened his mouth. Peter licked into his mouth, rubbing his tongue against Wade’s. It was hot and wet and a little messy and Peter felt his dicks begin to pay attention to what he was doing. 

“Can I lay you down on the beanbag,” Wade said in a rough voice. Peter nodded. They shifted until Peter was on his back with Wade hovering over him.

“Hi,” Peter said, then blushed at his complete lack of sexiness. Wade smiled down at him.

“Baby boy, I like you like this. All sexy and wiggly under me.” Peter realized he been wiggling and immediately stopped. “Oh, honey, don’t stop because of me. It’s nice,” Wade drawled, his voice thick as honey. Then he leaned down and nibbled at Peter’s neck, starting at the juncture where it met his shoulder and leaving a trail of licks and small, sharp bites until he ended up at Peter’s ear. 

“I wanna see you come undone. Is that something you want to do?” 

Peter groaned and gasped out a “yes”. His dicks were starting to swell and they shifted, trying to make themselves more comfortable. 

Wade smirked. “There’s that wiggling again. It feels so good when you do that.” He kissed Peter again, a deep, searching kiss. “Will you take your shirt off?” he asked as they separated again a few moments later.

Peter nodded. He wished that he could be more eloquent, more loquacious, but he was realizing that doing sexy things with Wade was not compatible with holding a conversation. 

He shifted and squirmed and with Wade’s help he was finally free of his shirt. Wade let out a low whistle. “You’ve got some…” he trailed off. “Some nice muscles there baby boy.”

Peter felt his cheeks heat. His tentacles shifted in annoyance. Peter’s “fun time” tentacles usually stayed close to his body but when he got _aroused_ they moved out from his body and started to harden at the tips. Peter had hit puberty before his mutation so he knew they reacted similarly to his human cock. Stanley, George, Karen, and Janet, being sensitive to his alone time, didn’t bother him but his dicks and the two unnamed tentacles were twitching and rubbing against each other. Peter could feel some moisture build from the tips of his dicks. Wade leaned down until he was on his knees, parting the sets of tentacles to rest between the split, rubbing his crotch against Peter. He gave Peter their dirtiest kiss yet, wet heat and tongues thrusting and it pulled a moan out of Peter.

“How far do you want to go tonight?” Wade growled.

“I don’t know. What are—” Peter let out a self-deprecating laugh. “What are the options?”

Wade gave him a sweet, sloppy kiss. “Baby boy, you’re too pure for this world. We only have to do what you’re comfortable with, but I was thinking I could use my hands or mouth on you. I don’t think we’re ready for much more.”

That sounded like a sound plan to Peter. But he had a question. “Wh— what about you?”

“We don’t need to worry about me. I’m happy to—” 

Peter cut him off. “No. We either _both_ get off or neither of us get off.”

Wade took about two seconds to have what Peter assumed was an internal debate and quickly indicated his assent with a sharp nod. “OK. OK you win baby boy. I don’t know how well I’ll do with getting au naturale with you. I’ll try—”

With a smirk, Peter cut him off again. “We only have to do what you’re comfortable with,” he said parroting Wade’s earlier words.

Wade let out a lone “ha” and dropped his head to rest on Peter’s collarbone. “You got me there.”

“I wanna…” Peter trailed off. Wade placed a sweet kiss on Peter’s neck. “I wanna taste you.”

Wade let out a minuscule shiver that Peter probably wouldn’t have been able to detect except Wade was still lying on top of him, a warm, comforting weight. “You sure about that, baby boy? It’s not the easiest—”

“Wade,” Peter said in a dry voice. “I have _tentacles_ for dicks. Do you think this will be my first time?”

Wade let out a loud groan and his hips gently thrust against Peter’s tentacles. “You cannot just tell me that. That’s like… that’s like every masturbatory daydream I’ve ever had about you.”

Peter smirked. He was enjoying having Wade be the one who was overwhelmed. “Can we just make out and see where things go? With blow jobs on the table? We don’t _have_ to but we can?”

Wade finally lifted his head from Peter’s shoulder. He looked into Peter’s eyes, searching for an answer to his unasked question. He smiled and the smile promised dirty things. Peter shifted his waist so his unnamed tentacles wound around Wade’s legs. His dicks stayed in the middle and writhed, waiting impatiently for something more than each other. Wade leaned down and captured Peter’s mouth. Their tongues entwined, matching the restless movements of Peter’s cocks. 

He growled into Peter’s mouth, “I like your idea, baby boy.” He moved so he was gently biting Peter’s ear, making him gasp and his tentacles shift where they were wrapped around Wade. He soothed the sting with his tongue and moved to Peter’s neck. Soft, open mouthed kisses were trailed down Peter’s neck until Wade was at his collarbone. He bit down on the bone, making Peter groan. 

“You gotta let my legs go, beautiful boy. I need to be able to move more,” Wade whispered.

Peter whimpered in response. “OK, whatever you need, Wade.” He urged his tentacles to let go and they begrudgingly complied. Wade kept kissing Peter’s collarbone, with little sharp bites mixed in. Peter was writhing on the beanbag, thankful that Wade didn’t judge him for not having an actual bed. He kept kissing down Peter’s torso until he captured a nipple. Wade continued the pattern of wet, open mouth kisses followed by little nips. Peter gasped the first time Wade bit down.

Wade continued, kissing and licking and biting down Peter’s body until he was at Peter’s waist. He was on his elbows and knees, gazing up at Peter with dark eyes. “How do you want to do this, Petey? I can move down to the end but I don’t really want to be that far from you.”

“You can— you can move up here? I think I would like being face-to-face. If that’s—”

“Yes!” Wade almost shouted. “That sounds like an excellent idea! Your flexibility with your tentacles is A-plus.”

Peter giggled and felt his cheeks flush. He had been self-conscious about his body for _so long_ that having his mutation be something positive made him want to shout at the top of his lungs. He still felt abnormal, but he was starting to think maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal that he had tentacles. And if the look on Wade’s face was any indication, Peter having two dicks that had a huge range of movement was a definite advantage.

Wade slid himself up Peter’s body until his face was even with Peter’s, then leaned down to kiss him. “Tell me if there’s anything you don’t like. I’ll stop right away. OK?”

“Yeah, OK. But the same for you. I don’t have any comparison but if you’re not enjoying what we’re doing because I’m different—”

“Baby boy. I will let you know. I don’t think it will be a problem, but I’ll let you know. Now how do you get them up here?”

Peter let his cocks know they could move and suddenly they were between his and Wade’s faces.

“That’s a neat party trick, Webs! Any other hidden sexy things I should know about?”

Peter lifted his arm to Wade’s mouth, wrist first. “I, um, I’m really sensitive here.” He let out a yelp as Wade’s tongue suddenly licked over the microscopic hole his webs came out of. Wade just huffed out a little laugh and licked at him again until Peter couldn’t stay still and his cocks were leaking pre-come.

“Please, Wade. Please,” he gasped. “That feels so good. Please can we do more?” Peter knew that he could get off with intense stimulation to his web spinnerets but he was far too impatient to wait the half hour it took for that to happen. He wanted somebody else, he wanted _Wade_ to touch him and make him come. Then he wanted to do the same thing for Wade.

With one last lick, Wade moved Peter’s arm away and looked at Peter. “You’re sure?”

“Yes. Please.” He let out a breathy whine. “I want this. You want this. We’re go for launch. Please.”  
After Peter’s begging, Wade grabbed one of his cocks and began to study it. He pulled his glove off so he could feel it with his bare hand and at the first touch of his scarred, textured hand, Peter sighed. Wade hummed in approval and wrapped his whole hand around Peter. He slowly moved his hand up and down and Peter started squirming in earnest. Wade sped up the slightest bit and reached out his free hand for Peter’s other dick. He jacked them together for a few moments before moving one to his mouth. His tongue darted out and tasted Peter’s tip. Peter felt like he was on fire. He knew, intellectually, that masturbation was completely different from sex with someone, but he had no idea _how_ different it was. Wade had only been touching Peter for a minute or two and he was already on the edge. 

Wade quit teasing the head of Peter’s cock and took as much as he could into his mouth. All the while, maintaining a steady rhythm with his hand on Peter’s other dick. He bobbed his head and Peter cried out. “That feels so good, Wade. So much better when you do it.”

Wade hummed and the vibration set Peter off even more. Peter could feel sweat build up where he and Wade were touching. It shouldn’t be as erotic feeling as it was, it should be gross, but it made Peter feel like he was starring in their own personal porno. 

Wade moved his mouth off and licked his lips in a lascivious manner. His heated gaze was full of promise. “Baby boy, you say _I’m_ textured. You feel amazing in my mouth. I want to feel you everywhere when we’re ready.”

Peter gaped at him. His mind reeled with what Wade meant. Then he groaned because one of Wade’s clever fingers were stroking one of his spinnerets and the other was stroking one of his dicks. 

“Damn sweetheart, you’re sensitive _everywhere_ , aren’t you?” He winked and started licking at Peter’s tip, still stroking his wrist. 

Peter felt his tentacle dicks tighten until it was almost uncomfortable. He panted and sighed, trying to convey his pleasure. 

“Can you finish like this or do you need to jerk yourself? Make yourself all dirty for me? You look so pretty like this, face flushed, squirming against me. Your cocks are almost purple.” He moved his mouth to Peter’s wrist and bit down, _hard_.

Peter groaned and then to his embarrassment, lost control and shot his release all over Wade’s face and suit. 

“Wade— I’m so— so sorry!” he gasped out. 

Wade just smirked at him like the cat who got the cream.

**”Rather apt metaphor if I do say so myself. Heh. Noice.”**

Nothing seemed to faze Wade. He just reached into one of his pouches and pulled out a wet wipe, opened it up, and used it to wipe his suit off. He got a second one for his face, but first ran a finger through Peter’s come and licked it up. Peter felt flushed and hot. How was he supposed to deal with Wade doing _that_? Wade just smirked when he noticed Peter’s expression. He shifted and Peter could feel his interest, hot and hard against his hip. So he urged his tentacles to move to stroke Wade through his suit.

Wade whined. “That is not playing fair, Petey! I’ve only got two arms. With everything you’ve got, even taking out the friendly ones, you outnumber me like three to one on limbs that can get freaky.”

Peter laughed, and the tension and anxiety he had briefly felt over making a mess on Wade blissfully gone. “Want me to do something about that?” he countered. “I’m down to only four limbs but they’re all excited about helping you out.”

Wade huffed out a cross between a groan and a laugh. “Whatever you want. I’m happy with what we just did. I’m happy to curl up and watch more cooking shows with you. I’m just happy.”

Peter urged his tentacle to grip a little more tightly at Wade’s leather encased dick. “Can I unzip your pants?” he asked in his most innocent voice, as he moved down so his shoulders were between Wade’s thighs. 

“Yeah—” Wade cleared his throat.”Yeah, whatever you want to do Petey.”

“Do you want to take your shirt off too?”

He squeaked and then wriggled out of his shirt and took off his utility belt. “And pants?

Peter nodded and Wade stood up, pulling his pants off. He was suddenly completely bare in front of Peter. He looked nervous and shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Like what you see baby boy?” Wade asked in a gravelly voice.

A smile overtook Peter’s face. “Yes,” he answered. “I very much like what I see. Can I touch you?”

**”Yeah, Peter took my little sex talk to heart. Cause, let’s be real. I am not known to be completely confident in my own skin. I mean, I’m a little up and down about it; sometimes it’s fun to dance in my skivies and mask with Spidey but that’s usually just for Lady Thor, and sometimes I want to stay in my suit 24/7. But being with anyone new can be a really scary prospect, even if you have the perfect body. Which I _do_ have a drool worthy body but my skin is a little gnarly. So I really appreciated Peter checking in with me like I did with him.**

**“I apparently have a lot of thoughts on the matter. I don’t understand why, _when I’m naked, in front of Peter_ these thoughts have decided to make themselves know. Ahem!” **

It had been long enough that the jelly feeling in his tentacles had gone and Peter lifted himself up to embrace Wade. “You’re so fucking sexy,” he whispered in Wade’s ear. He liked that he was able to make himself the same height as Wade. Feeling brave, he darted his tongue out to lick at Wade’s earlobe, smiling when it got a positive reaction. He let Janet and Karen wrap around Wade to urge him back to the beanbag. 

They settled back down, with Peter hovering over Wade. “You’re OK with my tentacles on your bare skin?” he asked. 

“Yeah, they actually they feel pretty nice. Cool and smooth.”

Peter let Janet do what he knew she wanted and suddenly Wade was covered in a wriggling tentacle. He let out a low laugh. “Who’s so interested in my naked body?” Peter felt himself blush.

“That’s Janet. But we’re all pretty much into you _and_ your body.” 

Janet squirmed until a sucker caught Wade’s skin and Peter panicked and ripped his tentacle off Wade’s body. Wade let out a loud whine and Peter stared at him. “Was that… did you _like_ that?” he gasped.

“Holy shit, yes,” he said on a groan. “Do it again?”

Peter let Janet move to his torso again, settling gently over his abs and pecs, with the last sucker resting on Wade’s nipple. “Is this too much?” Peter whispered.

“Maybe don’t pull everything off so sharply? And definitely not at the same time. But let’s try it, huh?”

So Peter let each sucker form a seal against Wade's skin, then one by one, he jerked his tentacle, marveling at the sounds that came out of Wade’s mouth. When the last one was the only one, Wade reached down and pulled it off sharply, causing him to moan, long and low, as his hips to crash into Peter’s body.

“Fuck baby boy, I could probably come just from that,” Wade said as he looked down his body, seeming to revel in the bright red spots the sucker had left in their wake. He snorted out a laugh. “You gave me a bunch of hickies, Petey-pie. Shame they’ll disappear in a few minutes.” 

Peter leaned down to capture Wade’s mouth, his mind reeling from the total acceptance he had just gotten. Wade not only wasn’t grossed out by his extra appendages, he liked how they felt on his skin and seemed to really like getting hickies from them. He tried to convey all of his gratitude and not-quite-love-but-more-than-just-lust into the kiss, twining his tongue with Wade’s.

Tired of talking, Peter kissed his way back down Wade’s body _finally_ he thought to himself until he was once again lying between Wade’s thighs. “Yes?” he whispered.

“Please, baby. Whatever you want to do.”

Peter wasted no more time and swallowed Wade down his throat as far as he could take. He was a little thicker than what Peter was used to, but he had no problem bobbing his head until he could feel the head of Wade’s dick hit the back of his throat. Peter used his other hand to make up the difference and hollowed his cheeks. Wade groaned under him. Focusing on his task, he let his tentacles decided where they wanted to be; one of his tentacles moved caress Wade’s testicles while another, one of his cocks, made its way to Wade’s mouth. He felt the other man laugh under him. 

“Frisky, much?” he laughed. But Peter couldn’t answer because Wade had started licking and caressing his dick. He groaned around Wade and redoubled his efforts. He must have been successful because he heard Wade gasp and felt him buck his hips a little. Two of Peter’s tentacles wrapped around Wade’s legs, keeping him pinned down. Wade groaned around Peter which caused Peter to groan around Wade. 

**”It was a cycle of groaning around cocks. That’s honestly pretty awesome.”**

One of the tentacles, Peter thought it was Karen but he couldn’t be sure at the moment, wound itself around Wade and made a hard seal with its suckers. He braced himself and bobbed his head as fast and deep as he could as one by one the suckers popped off Wade’s body.

“Fuck! Peter! _Fuck!_ If you don’t want a mouthful of come, this is your warning!” Wade gasped out, unable to continue sucking Peter off.

As an answer Peter just keep going with his rhythm and a second tentacle stuck itself to the inside of Wade’s thighs. Between the stimulation from the tentacles and what Peter was doing with his mouth, Wade lasted about two seconds after the last sucker was pulled free. He shouted out a series of vowels and then Peter’s mouth was filled with his release. Peter gentled his mouth, working him through the aftershocks until Wade was lying back on the beanbag trying to catch his breath. 

Peter moved so he could kiss Wade. He shivered as he realized the other man must be able to taste himself on Peter. Wade felt amazing against Peter’s bare skin. It was just like he had daydreamed about over the last month: textured, rough, sexy. He let out a small gasp as one of Wade’s scars brushed against a nipple.

“Oh, baby boy,” Wade said, voice rough. “You’re still wound up. Round two?” Peter squeaked out a “yes” and Wade wasted no time getting his hands around the two tentacle dicks. It took a little longer the second time around but it was still with minimal effort that Wade had Peter writhing as he came.

**”Ha! I bet you thought we would never get off! I mean, _I_ didn’t know if we would ever get there. Sex scenes are awkward af to write. I mean they’re _amazing_ when done right. But when you think about it, it’s just some person behind a computer screen writing about multiple tentacle cocks. Which is… a weird hobby. But apparently a fun one.”**

After Peter and Wade had jumped into the pool to clean off, thankfully most of Wade’s spots were scars instead of open wounds, they curled up together on the beanbag and fell asleep. The next day brought a little bit of awkwardness but breakfast with the Avengers was not nearly as stilted as Peter had feared. 

His routine adapted to the addition of Wade. He still worked in the labs with Tony and Bruce, trained with Steve, but now he patrolled with Wade, had dinner with Wade, kissed Wade, did _other_ things with Wade.

And Tony, for all his previous bluster, came to the decision that while he didn’t really understand their relationship, he was no longer outwardly skeptical of it. Aunt May and Uncle Ben had been thrilled to meet Wade. They knew that Peter would never have a “normal” relationship but suspected from the beginning that Peter was destined for something bigger than their little life in Queens would provide. They were happy that their son had found his heartmate and was not limited by his mutation. Peter was really happy that all the important people in his life were getting along.

It had taken some time before everyone was on board with the idea of Wade moving into the Tower. There were a few chaperoned patrols and a couple of SHIELD missions that Tony or Steve tagged along on. After one such mission, Wade, Bucky, and Steve came back beat up and tired. Peter went out to meet them to make sure Wade was OK. He knew that Wade couldn’t die or be seriously harmed, but he wouldn’t be able to relax until he and Karen and Janet and George had all been assured he was more-or-less in one piece.

Wade skipped out, still in his full Deadpool get-up, while Steve and Bucky, who stumbled out after him, had changed into more comfortable clothes on the trip home.

“Petey! You’ll never guess what happened!”

“What?” Peter said as he smiled at him, squinting from the brightness of the sun. 

Before Wade could answer, Steve and Bucky fell into a sneezing fit. 

“Oh my god! Did they get poisoned? Why are they sneezing? Do we need to be put in containment? I didn’t think they could get colds! What’s going on!”

Steve just shook his head. “It’s OK, Wade. It’s the sun. Sometimes when it’s really dark and I come out into the sun, I sneeze. It’s no big deal. JARVIS didn’t say we were infected. We’re not going to get anybody sick.”

Wade whirled around to Peter. “Do you have that problem too? I’ve never really noticed because my mask has transition lenses so I get sunglasses on demand.”

Peter smirked. “No, it doesn’t really bother me. My soulful brown eyes protect me.”

**”So that is in fact a true thing. People with lighter eyes are more sensitive to the sun. And if you thought that was a set-up for Peter to say he had soulful brown eyes, you would be correct! Brown eyes don’t get romanticized as much as blue eyes and they’re so pretty. I for one could stare lovingly into Peter’s eyes for hours if I could stay still that long. If I were clever, I would write a sonnet to Peter’s brown eyes. I don’t mean to get all mushy, I just really like Peter.”**

Bucky rolled his eyes and Steve looked a little confused at Peter’s statement. But Wade just gazed at him, his smile clear under his mask.

“Baby boy, _Late night watching television,”_ he sang. “ _But how’d we get in this position? It’s way too soon, I know this isn’t love._ “ He started to dance to the beat. ” _But I need to tell you something.[I really, really, really, really, really, really like you.](https://youtu.be/qV5lzRHrGeg) And I want you, do you want me? Do you want me too?”_

FRIDAY cut in. “Boss says no singing, Wade. And that there’s a whole table full of food if you’re hungry.”

Bucky reached out so Steve could lean on him while they made their way to the common room for food. Peter lingered for a few moments until they were out of sight. He let the tentacles raise him up so he was face to face with Wade. He placed a small, chaste kiss on the mask.

“I really, really, really, really, really, really like you too, Wade,” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Coldwinterrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eris13/pseuds/coldwinterrose) gets a shout out for the Twilight reference and [Sable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecroixss) for the "soulful brown eyes" line. Thanks

**Author's Note:**

> You can find us on Tumblr at [AhumokIo](http://1impulsivefloweruniverse.tumblr.com) and [Pineau_noir](http://Pineau-noir.tumblr.com).


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